A professor I had in my graduate program said to the class one day “You know what MSW stands for, right? Must Save World.” Whereas we all thought this was pretty funny, there is a subtle truth to it. We come to do our passion because we want to help others who are struggling. This may be because we’ve come through adversity ourselves, or it may be that we come from a family of helpers, or it may be for a completely different reason. But none of us come to this field in order to get jaded and burnt out.
 
When we live our lives with the motto of Must Save World, we set ourselves up for burnout. It affects our lives in numerous ways. We feel it emotionally and physically. It affects many aspects of our lives including sleep, nutrition, and relationships. It makes us look at the world differently and even start to question why we are in this profession to begin with.
 
One of the biggest downsides to this is the world needs you as a counselor. You came to this field for a reason and that reason did and will make a huge impact on others. But if you get burnt out, you start making mistakes, disliking what you do, not caring as much, not having patience for your clients (or others in your life). You have a passion which drives you. When you get burnt out, this fire goes out and we have one more burnt out therapist in the world.
 
It is not fair to your clients, your friends, your family, and most importantly, you that this happens. You start exhibiting signs of compassion fatigue and burn out such as apathy, sarcasm, distrust, taking more sick days, and just going through the motions of your job.
 
Do you remember when you started a new job? Maybe you were a bit apprehensive, but you were also excited. You probably said yes to more things than you should have because you had the energy, passion, and excitement. You wanted to do a good job and knew that you could do a lot. You might have even been warned not to take on too much as people will then keep asking you to do more and more. But you could do it. You were early in your career (or current position), and had the passion and spark.
 
Isn’t hindsight funny? All those warnings people gave you were true. If you take too big a bite from doing the work of a therapist, you get full quickly and lose the spunk and excitement of the job. It looses the luster. It isn’t as enjoyable anymore. Maybe you didn’t notice it right away. Maybe it started as you just feeling more tired. Or maybe you didn’t eat as well. Or maybe you didn’t feel like hanging out with the crew after work. At first it seemed like nothing. But it was just the beginning of the slope. Once you start sliding, it is hard to find the footholes to grab onto. Before you know it, you don’t enjoy your work and question whether this is the right field for you.
 
Unfortunately, if we do not grab ahold of a foothole or two on the way down, we lose another therapist to burnout. Research indicates that healthcare professionals are at a higher risk for suicide. (See this article: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3124780/).
If you find yourself in a dark place feeling burnt out, aggravated, unsure of yourself or your career choice, know that you are not alone. Many therapists face burnout every day. You are among many who are in the same boat as you. It is not a failure on you that this happened.
 
It’s true that you’re feeling tired and apathetic about much right now. However, if we can learn a step-by-step process to curb burnout before it starts (or find the foothole if it already started), we can maintain the passion we had when we first came into this field. When we make small steps using this how-to process, it is entirely possible to bring that spark back to a full fledged fire.
 
Keep reading to learn how to bring that fire back starting today
 
IS IT HARDER TO GET THE MOTIVATION TO GET UP AND GO TO WORK EVERYDAY? DO YOU FIND YOURSELF CRANKY AND TIRED WHEN YOU GET HOME?
 
This is no way to live your dream. You came to this field for a reason. You had such enthusiasm at first. Helping others is taking a toll on you and not only you, but your family and your life. We know that chronic stress leads to all sorts of medical problems such as high blood pressure, heart conditions, strokes, and more. Burnout is a chronic stress condition as well.
 
Living like this will only increase your medical bills and costs, decrease your life expectancy, and generally will not have you feeling good about yourself. It is not what you want for yourself and not what I want for you.
 
THERE IS SO MUCH TO EXPERIENCE IN LIFE. SO MANY EXCITING THINGS WE MISS OUT ON DUE TO STRESS
 
Do you remember when you were a child and managed to just barely get out of bed in time for school, but Saturday and Sunday you could get up at the crack of dawn (if you wanted)? There was something exciting about the weekends. Something to look forward to that gave you the energy to get up and go.
 
When you have a passion in life, that oomph you had as a child on Saturday morning is there in that passion. It gives you that drive and fire. With that fire, so much is possible in each and every day. You can experience life in full bloom.
There will always be difficult days. There will always be days you come home stressed, cranky and tired, but you do not have to live that way daily. There is a way to bring that oomph back to your daily passion. When we choose to implement an easy step-by-step plan to bring back our passion, it is possible to feel excited about life again. You have the opportunity to shine and bring others up from their despair.
 
RECLAIM YOUR DRIVE; GET OUT OF BURNOUT AND COMPASSION FATIGUE; ENJOY YOUR CAREER
 
Currently you are feeling pretty hopeless about your career. You see everything more negatively than you did previously. It just isn’t quite the same for you. Not only do you feel this way, but it is impacting your life, your sleep, your relationships. It is seeping into every aspect of life.
 
The key is simple. The key to bringing back your passion. To feeling excited about your job again. I say simple for a reason. I purposely did not say easy. However, before you give up on me, there’s a lot in life that isn’t easy because it is different. It takes some practice before it becomes easy. This step-by-step guide is similar. It will take some time to master, but it is a simple process.
 
Take a look at these next steps to see how you can achieve energy and passion in work again
 
The solution
 
One of the reasons you struggle with burnout, irritability, and bringing stress home is because you care about what you do. It makes sense that you’re feeling worn out. Your brain takes in the input from all of your clients daily and as the amygdala is so primitive, it does not realize the difference between your client’s stories and your own stories. The amygdala along with your imagination make your clients stories your own, just as if you are going through the stress that they are. When this happens, all of the physiological effects of stress happen in our own bodies. This is physically and emotionally draining. This may not be the only reason you may be suffering from compassion fatigue and burnout, however.
 
Step one to identifying and treating your stress:
 
Identify the root cause: Ask yourself “Why am I feeling burnt out?” Do I have any resentments? Negative feelings about work or my role? Am I overwhelmed with the amount of work? Not feeling appreciated? Etc. Then ask yourself “Why” four more times. This form of deductive reasoning can uncover the root cause – which may not be what you originally thought.
 
Here with Meg Young, LCSW, we work together to identify what the root cause is. It is just like everything else…if you only “cover up” the problem by looking at what it seems like on the surface, often the problem will return. It is not solved. Identifying the root cause will actually help solve the problem and not just temporarily make it better.
 
Step two:
 
Ask yourself: Am I taking care of myself…balancing work and leisure: Am I sleeping well? Am I eating properly? Am I exercising regularly? When was my last vacation? Am I taking time to unplug from electronics and other people?
We know just how much imbalance in our lives will create a ripple effect of imbalance throughout all parts of our lives. Returning to this basic step is very important.
 
Together with my clients, I use a balance wheel to identify the important parts of their lives. From there we identify which parts of their lives are not doing as well and help to create a plan (using the five why’s from step one if there are barriers) to increase time spent in the other important areas of life. Nobody’s balance wheel is completely balanced. We just do the best we can. It’s like surfing…stay loose and go with the waves. Staying rigid will only make you fall off the board.
 
When you identify which areas of your life are lacking and make a plan to improve those areas, it is important to understand that other areas of life will go down a bit. That is normal and ok. It is balance – one side goes up and another comes down. It’s a matter of finding the right balance of all the important aspects of your life. Once you start your plan to improve the areas of your life that aren’t going so well, you will very quickly start to see some improvement in your mood and energy.
 
Step three:
 
Practice positive thinking. You know this works. You teach your clients every day. One method of positive thinking is the PERMA model for happiness:
 
P (Positive emotion): Are you experiencing positive emotions in your life, work, family, etc? If not, how can you increase positive emotions?
E (Engagement): Engagement produces a sense of natural flow. It just works when we’re engaged in something. Do you feel engaged at work? In your leisure time? With friends and family? How can you increase engagement in these areas? Decrease distraction? Find the fun in anything?
R (Positive relationships): Do you have positive relationships in your life? Home and work? If not, how can you increase them? Find new? Change your attitude? Etc
M (Meaning): Do you feel your life and work have meaning? It is serving a greater purpose?
A (Accomplishment/achievement): If you feel you are not devoting enough time to your dreams, start now! When we have a sense of accomplishment, we feel good about ourselves.
 
Other than the PERMA model, another way to use positive thinking is to challenge the belief you can’t create the job you want in your organization. Job descriptions are not what your reality is…ever. So, keep a list of what tasks motivate and deplete you. Find small motivating tweaks throughout the day. What can you do that will make the day fun? Almost a game to play? Can you collaborate for more motivating work? What task(s) can you and a co-worker switch to make both of your days better? This last one isn’t always an option, but if it can be, definitely use it!
 
Whereas saying no is not “positive thinking,” it is holding boundaries. Holding your boundaries will help you maintain a positive outlook. It is absolutely ok to say you cannot do something. It is also ok to ask if it can be done later. Prioritize your day and keep things as manageable as possible by declining things that you realistically cannot do.
 
You teach clients about positive thinking every day. You know that the more you feed the negative thoughts, the more those negative thoughts come to the surface. The opposite is also true…the more you feed the positive thoughts, the more those come to the surface.
 
Adding positive thinking to your life will make it possible to find the excitement in your job again. It will make it possible to re-ignite that fire and passion. It will make it possible to come back from compassion fatigue and burnout.
 
Step four:
 
Reassess your goals. If you notice that you created a better work/life balance and you are still quite stressed and unhappy, it is time to reassess your goals: Ask yourself, are my work goals matching my personal and professional goals? Does my work match my personal and professional values? If work and your personal or professional goals or values don’t match, it will cause significant internal stress.
 
With my clients, I help them reassess their personal and professional goals and help them identify their work and life values. Often we find that their personal and professional goals and values are at odds. If this is the case, the next step is to identify whether there is anything that my clients can do with their current job to realign personal and professional goals and values. Sometimes people can work with their supervisors or companies to help realign personal and professional goals and values, but frequently it is not the case. If it is not the case, it is important to ask yourself if staying at that job is right for you.
 
Reassessing your goals can be a bit challenging. If you find that your job is not the right job for you, there may be several reasons to still stay at that job. It is important to understand I do not tell anyone to quit their jobs. What I do is help you come to the conclusion that is right for YOU. Even if I believe that quitting may be the best solution, I will not tell you this. It is your decision to come to (or not). If you do not want to quit, steps one through three will at least decrease the stress level some. Even if you stay at a job that your values and goals do not match those of the company, doing steps one through three will improve your life.
 
You may be feeling overwhelmed and unsure about continuing your job at this time. Meg Young, LCSW empowers and inspires counselors just like you regain and maintain their passion for the career they came to.
 
Helping you achieve happiness and passion for the job you once loved is my passion. Achieving your goals and feeling that excitement for work, coming home less stressed and more energized throughout the day will help you to feel fulfilled again. You absolutely can come back from compassion fatigue and burnout. It does not necessarily mean you have to quit your job. Call me to schedule your appointment today. I will help you regain your passion. You are worth it, your family is worth it, and this will happen for you!

Therapists have a very emotionally draining job. It takes a lot to listen to people’s difficulties all day long day after day. It takes a lot to find people the resources they need to help themselves (especially if they don’t really want the help, but are just going through the motions). It takes a lot to do the paperwork that is required by the regulatory bodies that oversee our agencies. It takes a lot to deal with co-workers and supervisors who are also burnt out.
 
And after this very stressful day, we come home and our families demand more energy from us. Whereas we love this and it feels good to be wanted and needed at home, we cannot necessarily turn our brains off when we get home which is honestly sometimes all we want to do.
 
Because we cannot turn our brains off when we get home but instead have to continue to expend energy, we may feel more depleted at the end of the night than when we got home.
 
Unfortunately, when we do not re-energize ourselves at home, it leads to starting the next day already at an increased level of stress. This affects our relationships in so many ways. It affects our family, our friends, our leisure time. It affects our work performance as well.
 
The downsides to not re-energizing each day include relationship problems as we struggle to communicate our needs with our loved ones, increased stress, compassion fatigue and burnout.
 
Not only does living life without re-energizing yourself regularly affect our relationships, we may start to think we no longer want to do this work, we may take more sick days, we may feel hopeless and jaded about the world. It is a slippery downward slope.
 
Have you seen that co-worker who seemed happy go-lucky when they started, but are now just going through the motions of the day? They seemed to love their job at first, but now their entire attitude has changed and they aren’t the same person as when they started. Or maybe that co-worker is you. Your attitude about work and life has shifted. You no longer have the energy or desire to do the work to the standards you did when you started.
 
Unfortunately, all this does is end up making you feel miserable and hurts your relationships. As I said, compassion fatigue is a slippery slope. The relational damage can be repaired or it can continue to deteriorate.
 
If you don’t do anything to repair your relationships with loved ones, you may find yourself feeling more alone. You may end up pushing your friends and family away. You may end up feeling lonely and unhappy.
 
The truth is, the work we do as therapists is incredibly rewarding, but many therapists get burnt out and their families feel the effects as well. This is not uncommon. You are not alone in feeling this way. It is ok to admit that you are feeling this way. In fact, it is vital that if you do feel this way, you admit to yourself that you are before you are unable to recover from the slope.
 
It is true that not only are you feeling tired and irritable, but your family has noticed it as well. However, there are several things that can help us recover from compassion fatigue and burnout. When we do these top 10 things regularly, it is entirely possible to regain a firm grasp on yourself and your life.
 
Keep reading for the top 10 tools for Therapists to reenergize their relationship with loved ones today
 
RIGHT NOW YOU ARE FIGHTING OR ARGUING MORE WITH YOUR SPOUSE, HAVE NO ENERGY TO DO THINGS WITH YOUR FRIENDS, AND OTHERS HAVE TOLD YOU YOU ARE ACTING DIFFERENTLY
 
This is not uncommon. One of the biggest downsides to compassion fatigue and burnout is the relationship fallout. As therapists, we understand the importance of relationships and know just how much relationships can help us through the difficult times.
 
At the very least, you find yourself dawdling and not going home as fast. You find yourself looking for excuses to not hang out with friends. All you want to do is sleep. Living this way is adding to the stress you feel at work and making you feel more drained than you already do.
 
WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE TO HAVE THE ENERGY BACK IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS? WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE TO FEEL ENJOYMENT AND COMFORT FROM FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES?
 
Although you struggle with irritability, stress, and relationship difficulties, you have the potential to bring back the fun you have in your relationships and with your loved ones. You have the ability to feel excited and look forward to doing things with others.
 
When we use these top 10 tools, there is a possibility to enjoy life and loved ones. There is a possibility of coming back from compassion fatigue or burnout. You have the opportunity to make small changes in your life (that you already know) and see a huge difference in your life today.
 
TOP 10 TOOLS FOR THERAPISTS TO RE-ENERGIZE THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH LOVED ONES
 
Currently you may be wondering if it is even possible to get your relationships back on track. You have been going down this slope for awhile now and it seems like it is just getting worse, not better. The key to re-energizing your relationships with loved ones is to take small steps. You are not only dealing with yourself and your own stuff, but your loved ones and their own baggage. Just as you cannot throw a pebble in the pond and not make ripples, you cannot makes changes in yourself and not have ripple effect changes in others.
 
Take a look at these 10 tools to see how you can achieve your goal of getting your relationships back on track and re-energized
 
Tool 10:
– Take time for you before you go home to decompress
– This works because it gives you 10-30 minutes of time for your stress hormone (cortisol) to reabsorb in your body allowing your calm body to take control of your mind instead of your stressed body being in control of your mind
 
Tool 9:
– Get out into the sunshine every day
– Did you know there is a correlation between sunlight and our happiness? This has been researched. Sunshine (along with other tools) can be a very effective therapy.
 
Tool 8:
– Do some rocking side to side with your hands putting light pressure on your chest when feeling stressed
– The back and forth motion is calming to the body. It acts like it did when you were rocked as a baby. It is very soothing. There is also a correlation between calmness and using both sides of the brain and body. By going side to side you are activating the calming effects of using both sides of the body. Also the pressure on your chest gives you a feeling of comfort. It acts like a security blanket like when you were a kid.
 
Tool 7:
– Hang upside down when you are stressed
– Ok so this may sound like a weird one, but the blood flow to the brain actually helps you to calm the stress in your body
 
Tool 6:
– Do your self-soothing exercises (breathing, muscle relaxation, meditation, yoga, etc)
– Yup, these are what you teach and you should be doing what you preach!
 
Tool 5:
– Take time every week on a scheduled day and time to do something with your loved ones
– There is evidence that shows when we build something (going to the gym, hanging out with friends, doing chores) into our schedule, we are much more likely to follow through on it
 
Tool 4:
– Give yourself one hour a day of no screen time: No phone, no computer, no television
– This allows your brain to be less stimulated which again helps the cortisol reabsorb into the body allowing your calm body to take control of your mind
 
Tool 3:
– Take time to listen to what people say. Don’t interrupt and actually wait 5-10 seconds before responding
– Not only does this allow you to process what they are saying and give you time to come up with an answer you want to say instead of saying something emotionally, it also allows your brain to think about and understand what they are saying. This is a great communication tool.
 
Tool 2:
– Be reflective of what people say to you
– Often people see things in us before we do. We tend to make excuses for why we feel or act a certain way. But when we take time to listen to what people say about us, we may be able to catch something before it goes too downhill (into an argument, into depression, etc)
 
Tool 1:
– Gratitude
– Have and show gratitude every day. Say it out loud. Who are you grateful for and why? Tell them. Not only does this make them feel good, it changes our brain chemistry when we are looking at the positives in life.
 
These 10 tools are things you likely teach to your clients. How many of them are you actually doing yourself? Some of these tools are self-care tools. As therapists and counselors we have a responsibility to take care of ourselves first and foremost. Once we are calm from a stressful day, we can use the rest of these tools to re-energize our relationships. It is vital to take care of ourselves before trying to pull our relationships back in order.
 
Having re-energized relationships takes time, but the journey is just as important as the destination. Small daily lifestyle changes will have a huge impact. You absolutely can (and will) have the energy and excitement in your relationships that you once had. Meg Young, LCSW, PLLC specializes with people just like you who are struggling with their relationships due to the accumulated toll of their daily work. You are an inspiration to many. Let’s keep it that way!
 
Call me today to start your journey towards stability and comfort in your relationships with renewed energy and excitement. I can’t wait to talk with you! 941-462-4807

Therapists use a great deal of emotional energy every day. For many therapists, this energy only goes down throughout the day. Is there a way for it to stay as high at the end of the day as the beginning of the day?
 
Unfortunately, when we deplete our energy and do not know how to reenergize it throughout the day, it not only affects the current day, but the entire week. The work we do with our clients is so important that we cannot let depleted energy affect our clients at the end of the week.
 
The downsides to letting our energy be depleted every day include less patience with our clients and more irritability with our families. This can lead to feeling negative about ourselves and our work. With less patience comes the potential for more mistakes, less ability to be present and even forgetting who our clients are.
 
Not only does depleting our energy every day have an emotional toll on us, we start to exhibit signs of exhaustion at home. We may not have the energy to go to the gym, we may not eat as healthy, we may argue more, isolate more, sleep more, and not get our chores at home done. It can become a very slippery slope. Without energy, we cannot function.
 
Perhaps you’ve noticed it in your own life. You come home from work completely drained. You were supposed to go out to dinner with your loved one tonight, but when you get home, all you want to do is sit on the couch and not do anything. You push yourself to go out, but notice that you are extremely tired and don’t have the energy to engage in fully meaningful conversation.
 
At the time, you might have played it off as “just a bad day at work.” We all get this from time to time. We all have days we are tired and not able to reenergize. Sometimes this is due to a disrupted night’s sleep, sometimes it is due to other things. When it happens once in awhile, it is not a big deal. However when a “bad day” at work happens more regularly, it is probably time to rethink what you are doing to revitalize yourself.
 
Unfortunately, if we do not take the time to rejuvenate ourselves, it can very quickly lead to burnout and dislike of our chosen profession. We came into this field for a reason and there are many clients that currently and will in the future need us. It is unfortunate that so many of us get burnt out and unable to help those we came to work today to help.
 
Eventually, if we keep having the “bad” days at work, we end up with compassion fatigue and then burnout. This is a very low place that often has us feeling frustrated, worn-out, apathetic, and hopeless. Our thoughts guide our emotions and behaviors. So if we are consistently having “bad days” at work, feeling these negative feelings, our behaviors will show our burnout. Maybe we call into work sick more often. Maybe we miss deadlines. Maybe we call to cancel someone’s appointment. Maybe we don’t give our all to our paperwork or our clients. Maybe we start shaming our clients to our colleagues.
 
The truth is, it is completely normal to feel frustrated, indifferent, and discouraged when struggling with any stage of compassion fatigue or burnout. This is our sign that we are not restoring our energy regularly usually because we don’t know how. By the way, a really big secret is you absolutely do know how! But for now, it is ok for you to be struggling with this. Maybe you have even been thinking of quitting your job at this point.
 
It’s true that our job is incredibly emotionally draining and often leads to lack of energy or desire to do the things you know you should or want to. However, if we can learn just three tips, we can prevent or even turn around compassion fatigue and burnout. When we make just a few changes that will be discussed in a moment, it is entirely possible to feel recharged and stay charged throughout the day.
 
Keep reading for 3 tips so you can stay encouraged and happy at work and in life today
 
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO STAY EMOTIONALLY DRAINED, DISHEARTENED, IRRITABLE AND BURNT OUT
 
The biggest downside of not overcoming your problem is the life-long toll it takes on you. There is a huge correlation between stress and medical problems such as heart problems, high blood pressure, headaches, and digestive problems. There is also a huge correlation between stress and relationship fallouts. Finally, the accumulation of stress may lead you to look for a different job altogether.
 
At the very least, you find yourself not enjoying life to the extent you did when you entered this field. There are a ton of therapists who love their job to the same degree when they retire as when they started in the field. But there are also a ton who just don’t enjoy life to the same extent due to the level of stress this job puts on us.
 
Living with the beginning of compassion fatigue or burnout can be disheartening. When you start to realize that you don’t enjoy your job as much, you may start to question why you came into the field to begin with. You may start to wonder if this was the right career path. You may start to look at other opportunities.
 
IMAGINE A FULFILLING LIFE: HAPPY, RELAXED, ENCOURAGED, FULL OF FRIENDS AND FAMILY
 
Although you struggle with not being able to stay as energized at the beginning of the day as at the end, feeling drained at the end of the day, you have the potential to sustain that initial level of energy and excitement throughout the day. You have the ability to avoid compassion fatigue and burnout.
 
The key to achieving daily energy is to not let it drain completely before refilling your tank. If you wait until you are exhausted it will take much more time and energy to refill than if you do it throughout the day. You do not need to take 30 minutes each time you re-energize yourself. Remember how I gave you the secret above that you do know how to do this? Making these changes is not as difficult as you think because you teach them every day. You may even do them with your clients as you model it for them or practice with them. You know the skills.
 
Take a look at these three tips to see how you can revitalize yourself throughout the day so you can maintain enough energy to last through the day.
 
1. No time
One of the biggest complaints counselors have is they just don’t have enough time in the day. This is often very true when therapists work for an agency. There is more work to be done each day than can be done each day. It is just not possible to get everything done. Yet our bosses expect everything to be done. It makes complete sense that you feel overwhelmed and believe there is no time to do anything to re-energize yourself.
 
Several techniques that you teach are quick skills. However, there is always time for a quick stretch.
 
Here with Meg Young, LCSW, PLLC, I remind my clients of the importance of stretching. Stretching brings oxygen to the brain and throughout the body. It opens the diaphragm allowing for deeper breathing. It in itself reenergizes the body and brain. It does not take long. Sit back in your chair, put your hands behind your head and lean back. Take one or two deep breaths. Then sit forward again. Tense all of your muscles at once, including holding your breath, then let them all go, including doing an audible exhale.
 
When you do this, you will notice a sense of energy flow through your body. Often it feels like a tingling sensation, but not everyone feels it exactly the same. You will notice for a moment the rush of oomph as you are ready to move onto the next task. Furthermore, what it does is tells your body and brain that it can relax (get into parasympathetic dominance). When we are tense, the reptilian part of our brain does not realize that we are ok; it believes we are potentially in danger (we tense our muscles when we are scared). So by forcefully tensing and loosening the muscles, we are telling our reptilian brain that it is ok and safe to be calm.
 
2. Sitting too much
A huge barrier to revitalizing yourself is not moving enough throughout the day. You know the saying from an arthritis commercial “A body in motion stays in motion?” This is true in general. The more we move, the more energy we are bringing in and thus the more energy we have to expend. As therapists, we do a lot of sitting. Even when I worked on the adult unit of a psychiatric hospital full time and while at work got approximately 4,000 steps per day, a good deal of my day was still spent sitting: computer time (assessments, discharges, phone calls, notes), group therapy sessions, meetings, etc. Now in private practice, I sit just as much, if not more with client meetings back to back being 55-85 minutes a piece. It makes sense that you struggle with re-energizing when you do so much sitting.
 
Together with my clients, I help them to find time in their day to move and what they can do to move. Whether they can just walk to the bathroom and back or do a few jumping jacks, or some yoga poses. It does not take much, but the quicker the movements, often the faster the revitalization. When you get the heart rate elevated, you move the blood and oxygen around the body. This gives your body energy because the reptilian part of the brain thinks something is wrong. It gets the body into sympathetic dominance, elevating all the bodily functions that are needed for survival. But, because you are doing this on purpose as a form of energy repletion, your reptilian brain is not putting you into a state of full fight/flight.
 
After you start doing this, you will start to find it not only helpful, but wanted. You will notice being excited for the time between sessions or any time you have at work that you can jump around, dance, do some yoga, or walk. It does not take long. Only a minute or so of action.
 
3. Too much stress
When we are under too much stress, the reptilian brain starts to take over. Being stressed out and thus feeling out of control is potentially life threatening and the reptilian brain’s sole purpose is to keep you alive. When we feel out of control, the reptilian brain takes over putting the sympathetic nervous system in overdrive, so you can react to the danger. When you feel in control, the reptilian brain settles down and the parasympathetic nervous system takes over, allowing YOU and not your brain to maintain control. Since we work in a very fast paced and high energy field, where often we don’t believe we have (possibly truthfully don’t have) enough time to do everything we want or should do, or if other circumstances happen that cause us to fall behind on what we are trying to accomplish by the end of the day, we often feel out of control. It makes sense that too much stress causes us to not feel in control (which cycles back to more stress by the way).
 
Find what you have control over. There is a great deal of research that shows that people who are problem-focused (I’m stressed because there is too much work. What can I do to lessen the stress or workload?) are less stressed out than people who are emotion-focused (I’m stressed and it’s because there is too much work; nothing I can do about it).
 
When you schedule a session with Meg Young, LCSW, PLLC, I help you get out of the reptilian brain enough that you are able to find what you have control over and start taking control there. Anything that you have control over will start to make you feel better as you are taking action over the situation.
 
Finding what you have control over and taking action on that will make it possible for you to feel more confident which in turn will give you more energy throughout the day. When you run around not doing anything because there is too much to do, it uses more energy and gives none back. When you take action on what you have control over, it actually lessens the amount of energy expended and gives you some back.
 
Achieving a day with approximately the same amount of energy at the end of the day as the beginning can be a rough journey at first. However, it can feel so invigorating after you start putting these skills into place. You absolutely can feel energized throughout the day no matter where you work or what population you work with. Meg Young, LCSW, PLLC can help by partnering with you to maintain your passion and regain any lost energy. Not only will this help you personally, but your increased energy throughout the day will help you serve your clients with more presence thus helping them reach their goals quicker.
 
Call me today to schedule an appointment.

As a recently divorced mother of young adult children, “Patty” felt defeated and panicy. She finally divorced her emotionally abusive husband, but was now getting anger directed at her from her kids. She was sure she made the right choice logically, but still felt some doubt and suffered from panic attacks. This self-doubt seeped into other areas of her life and eventually so did the panic.
 
Can you relate to Patty? Unfortunately, when we live life full of self-doubt and panic, it affects our lives in so many ways. There are obvious downsides, but self doubt and panic lead to relationship difficulties, boundary setting issues (not saying no when you want to, doing things you’d rather not, not setting limits at home or work), sleep problems, struggles with eating properly, and doing potentially risky behaviors such as drinking alcohol to escape.
 
For Patty, a recent client of mine, it played out in her life by having her kids treat her the way her ex-husband did due to not being able to set boundaries with them. From there, she began a downward spiral of self-doubt, fear and panic attacks which affected her work performance as well. Her boss started noticing the change in her.
 
At the time, she was fearful, frustrated, hopeless, and not sure what to do to get her life back in control. Unfortunately, all this did was lead to more self-doubts and panic attacks. You can see the cycle she was in. It was a horrible feeling for her. She left her husband thinking life would be better, and at first not only was it not better, but it felt worse.
 
Eventually Patty wound up in a place of despair and confusion. She knew she made the right choice about divorcing her ex husband, but she still second guessed her decision at times. She felt guilty with her children – should she have left sooner? But how could she have? At first he seemed perfect, then he had too much control over her and she didn’t feel strong enough to leave.
 
The truth is, a lot of people struggle with whether they made the right decision in a situation, especially if that decision has potentially big repercussions. It is ok to feel confused, hurt, scared, and unsure as you work through the decisions and start to gain confidence in yourself. Nobody goes from self-doubt to confidence overnight and nobody gets there without some internal struggle.
 
It may be true that you feel lost, confused and frustrated which may have led to other behaviors and decisions that caused you to second guess yourself, which in turn led back to feelings of being lost, confused, and frustrated. This is not an uncommon cycle. However, when we see others overcome something similar, it can inspire us to make the changes we need to achieve confidence and control of ourselves. When we take similar steps, it is entirely possible to gain confidence and control over our own lives.
 
Keep reading to see how one court professional started seeing happiness, confidence, and self esteem
 
Before scheduling a session, Patty’s life looked bleak to her. Although she knew she had a lot going for her, she couldn’t pull those positive thoughts together and see the full impact of how well her life was going. She often found herself feeling lonely, confused, hurt, and angry. These feelings were hard to let go of at work even, and her work suffered for it. Her boss noticed the emotional drain she was exuding, and although he never spoke to her about her work performance, she knew she wasn’t producing the same level of work as she was prior to her divorce.
 
Living this way – where she was unable to live happily at home or work – impacted Patty’s ability to move forward in life. She was stuck living in the past as her kids were now treating her with disrespect and anger. Every time this happened, it brought on panic, confusion, and fear. It also brought back all the feelings and memories from her experiences with her ex husband. How could she move forward when she kept going into the past? She couldn’t get past these feelings.
 
Before scheduling a session, Patty struggled with her friendships as well. She wanted to hang out with people, but every time she did, she worried something would end up happening or someone would say something that would set off her anxiety and she would end up crying or in a panic attack. She slowly decreased her time spent with friends which added to her feelings of inadequacy.
 
Right before scheduling a session, Patty had an argument with her son which cause a huge panic attack and consumption of more alcohol that she normally had. Patty realized she hit her breaking point. If she didn’t do something about this situation…and soon…something terrible would happen or she wouldn’t be able to come back from this. She scheduled a session because she wanted to know how to handle her children’s behaviors. She knew they were hurting and taking it out on her, but she didn’t know how to set the proper boundaries with them, which was making her fall apart.
 
When Patty came to her first session, she expressed fear, anxiety, hopelessness, but had strength inside that was obvious to me. Together in the first session, we explored her life from childhood up to now and how her experiences have impacted her throughout her life. We did some outcome measures that we would review after a few sessions to measure the difference that was made through the course of treatment. We discussed what can be accomplished through therapy and how she wants to see herself and her life. By the time she left the first session, she felt hopeful that things will improve and she will gain strength and confidence in herself.
 
As we continued therapy, Patty started to realize that she had more work to do on herself before she could help her children. She realized there was more to the situation than she originally thought and by working on her own stuff she would not only do better with her children, but in her work life as well. This was a huge realization for Patty as she never thought of herself as needing help for anything, much less for herself. When she came to therapy, she knew she needed to work on herself, but she did not realize the impact her experiences had on her and how they were affecting her today.
 
We created a treatment plan to address and change her negative self beliefs so she could act with intention instead of through emotion (especially guilt). We decided a combination of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) were the modalities to use to get her where she wanted to be as quickly as possible.
 
We started seeing results quickly with EMDR and she reported feeling strong at the end of each session. I started noticing a change in the tone and pitch of her voice and in the way she walked. She noticed an increased ability to handle stressful events at work and noticed she was laughing more with her co-workers.
 
After several weeks of therapy, it became obvious to Patty and myself that Patty had reached a positive place in her life. We followed up on some of the outcome measures we did at the beginning of treatment. Patty no longer met the criteria for PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). At this point she actually did not meet the criteria for any diagnosable mental health concern. She reported feeling confident she could continue to help her children and by our final session, she had a few weeks of holding boundaries and following through with what she told her children.
 
It was a tough journey for Patty; she did a lot of work to get where she did in the timeframe that she did. Patty expressed some hesitation before scheduling with me as I do not take her insurance. She believed that I was the best person to help her get where she wanted to be, however, and at the end of our time together expressed that her “financial investment” in herself was worth every penny she spent. She was not in therapy for endless years and saw results relatively quickly.
 
Strength, goal-attainment, and confidence are common experiences my clients have by the end of treatment
 
Although you currently struggle with self-doubt, you have the potential to live a life of emotional security and stability. We are all on a journey through life and each one of us will need help and support at some point during that journey. Asking for help is a sign of strength and intelligence. It is knowing when you do not have what you need to make something work in the most effective way and knowing that someone else has the ability to make that something work effectively.
 
Now that you’ve seen how it worked for one of my other clients, there is a possibility for you to also gain strength and see the positive change you’ve been longing for in yourself and your life. Achieving this confidence and control can be very enlightening. It takes you on a journey you may not have ever thought you would be on, but the results are tremendously freeing. It is a journey that is intense at first, but has long lasting results that will give you what you want for years to come.
 
You absolutely can see the same effects as Patty in a short amount of time. Everyone’s journey is different. Whether your journey takes you through a couple weeks of coaching or several months of therapy, your journey is your own. When you choose strength, you will grow as a person into the person you want to be. My blog: How to Determine if Therapy or Coaching is Right for Me to Feel Better as Quickly as Possible is another great blog to take a look at.
 
Meg Young, LCSW, PLLC can help you along your journey as I specialize in adults just like you – Critical Care Givers (First responders, court professionals, medical professionals, counselors) – who have experienced a bit too much and are now feeling the effects of that. As a licensed therapist, I am fully trained and competent in providing therapy to anyone who calls me, but my passion; my calling in life; is to help those who help others; I help first responders, medical and court professionals move from internal turmoil to internal control through online and in person counseling and coaching.
 
Choose strength and call today for your first appointment.