Fall is a wonderful time. The kids are back in school, our routine is back on, the kids’ activities have restarted, your case load is increasing from the summer decrease, everyone is back from vacation and to the grind again, and the list goes on. It is a wonderful time, but it is also a very stressful time.
 
This conflict of wonderful time and stressful time can feel very strange and even overwhelming. We like it, but at the same time it can feel too much. But this is life.
 
As we go through the stress, saying “this is life” all the time, we may forget about balance. Life ebbs and flows and we have to ebb and flow with it. I often use the metaphor that life is like surfing…you have to relax your knees and body and go with the waves. If you try and force it or you stay too rigid, you will fall.
 
When we stay too rigid with thoughts like “this is life,” we actually lose out on life. We aren’t able to stop and smell the flowers. We aren’t able to see the beauty in life. We aren’t able to notice the small things that we were able to be grateful for when there was less going on each day.
 
Not only does being unable to balance cause us to not be able to stay grateful, but our stress response gets activated. Our stress response, physiologically, is the exact same response as the fight flight response. Stress response = tense muscles, feeling of tunnel vision, irritability, trouble sleeping, breathing from the chest and not diaphragm, faster heart rate, higher blood pressure, etc.
 
If the stress response being activated is not enough, not being balanced will also affect us at home with how we handle our families, what food choices we make, what exercise choices we make, and how we handle day-to-day stressors that were no problem over the summer.
 
Maybe you noticed that as we were coming into fall, you were excited to get the kids school supplies, new shoes, etc. You were excited that basketball was starting because the kids would be active again. You were excited because you are starting to fill your book again. Things were starting to get busy and fun.
 
Now that it is October fall is in full swing – Halloween is coming up, school trips, homework, activities, and soon it will be Thanksgiving! It is no longer as enjoyable and is actually more stressful than you remember it being last year.
 
You had every intention of going to the gym after work. But your youngest’s school just called saying “Johnny is sick come pick him up.” Well, no gym tonight! So you decide to do some home exercises when you get home. But your last client was so stressful that when you get home and have a sick kid to deal with, homework to help with, dinner to help with, chores to do, what time is there to workout? What desire is there? You’re too stressed!
 
Before you know it, your self-care routine is out the window. There’s no more time for stress management or self care. There is too much to do. As self care is a thing of the past, you wind up in a place of stress, fatigue, lack of desire to do much of anything, irritability and an annoying constant thought of “there’s just not enough time in the day.”
 
This is our world. This is the world of a therapist. This is the world of a working mom. This is America as it is right now. You are completely normal to want to do everything, be everything (and everywhere), and be supermom as a working therapist. It’s ok to feel stressed and it’s not uncommon for your self care routine to all but disappear, EVEN AS A THERAPIST.
 
It’s true that there are only 24 hours in a day and you feel like you have 25 (or 40) hours of things that have to get done every day. It is true that this is incredibly overwhelming and impossible, making you feel not as good as the next person.
 
However, if we can get on board with three tips for time management to deal with those 40 hours of work needed to accomplish in 24 hours, it is entirely possible to turn off the stress response and be more present in your day to day life, thus feeling more confident, competent, and happy.
 
Keep reading for 3 tips so you can start feeling calmer and in better control of your time today.
 
Right now you are feeling overwhelmed, tired, and stressed out
 
The biggest downside to not taking care of ourselves as therapists is the toll it takes on us and our families. We want to help people solve their problems, but when we get burnt out, it is harder for us to be patient and empathetic with people – both at home and at work.
 
At the very least, you find yourself tired and beating yourself up for not doing the chores you should be doing, or taking care of yourself the way you “should.” The more tired you are; the more you beat yourself up, the less likely you find yourself able to actually re-engage in the tools to stay healthy yourself.
 
It’s a downward cycle of annoyance, frustration, burnout, then excitement for the summer, and back to annoyance, frustration and burnout. The longer you’re in this cycle, the quicker you get to burnout each fall.
 
Remember the passion you had when you started this career? Remember the excitement you had going to work every day? Wouldn’t it be great to have that back again?
 
Although you are struggling with stress due to so much going on and lack of time in the day, you have the potential to feel that passion for work again. You have the ability to get back your energy and feel good about yourself and calm each day.
 
When we choose to do this, there is a possibility for increased life satisfaction, better overall health, better relationships with our families and friends, and increased confidence in ourselves.
 
You have the opportunity, right now, to make some small changes in your life and start seeing these results. Although there are no quick fixes, these results are proven (you know that)! And the more frequently you do them, the quicker those results are seen.
 
3 Tips to Achieve a feeling of Calmness and Control over Yourself and your Time
 
Whereas it is true you are feeling tired, stressed and overwhelmed, you do not have to continue this way throughout the winter and into the spring. You do not have to fall deeper into this rabbit hole and struggle more and more until you cannot wait for your caseload to drop in December and again in the summer.
 
The key to achieving calmness and control is YOU taking control over balancing YOUR time YOUR way. We all have the same 24 hours in the day, so why do you have to feel overwhelmed? Why do you have to struggle with this? The reality is you don’t! You don’t have to feel overwhelmed. You can be strategic with your time and feel calm and in control.
 
Making these changes is not as difficult as you think because you teach your clients these same skills every day. You know how hard it is for your clients to do the skills you teach, so you know it will not be easy for you either. Knowing that, these changes are within your control and NOT too difficult for you to follow!
 
Take a look at these 3 points to see how you can achieve control and calmness every day!
 
There are so many factors leading to feeling out of control and stressed out. I am focusing this blog on three points to help with time management. As fall can be a much busier time than spring and even winter, we need to take time for each aspect of our lives during all seasons.
 
1. You know what to do. Identify 1-2 things you tell your own clients to do that you are not currently doing. Why are you not doing these things? (No time)? That is just an excuse. Self care is not just for our clients. Self care does not have to be expensive. It does not need to take too much time away from your family.
 
One thing you can do for self care is sticking with your boundaries…if you have a 50 minute session, stick to 50 minute sessions, not 55 minute sessions. Start and end your sessions on time. If you do not want to see people after a certain time, don’t schedule anyone after that time. If you tell your family you need 10 minutes to unwind before hanging out with them, protect that time. Boundaries are vital to our own self care.
 
With Meg Young, LCSW, you will learn what holds you back from your own self care. We will dive into your own sticking points and unstick them so you will be able to do what you preach. Furthermore, you may even find self care ideas you hadn’t even thought of.
 
2. Schedule your time. Every morning look at your day. What is scheduled for the day? When do you have breaks during the day? What does your day look like? Busy? Light? What do you need to do that you have been putting off? When can you schedule that into your day?
 
Your kids have activities that are at scheduled times. You make sure they get there for those. You have appointments at specific times and make sure you get to those. When we have things scheduled into our day, we are much more likely to follow through with those tasks.
 
When you start each day scheduling your day, you will find that you actually have more time in your day than you think you do. You will find the time to do what is most important to you. You will also find the barriers to doing things you want to. For example, I found that I do small tasks better than long ones, so I’ll break my tasks up throughout the day.
 
3. Review your day at the end of the day. What were your wins for the day? What did you accomplish? What did you not do? What lessons did you learn about yourself and your time? What can you do better tomorrow?
 
When you schedule a session with me, you will dive into yourself deeper than you ever thought possible in order to find the time you need in your day. We will help you break the barriers to doing what you know you need to in order to take care of yourself thus feeling like you have enough time in the day.
 
When you review your day, it will make it possible for you to get everything done you want to get done during the day. Not only that, but it will decrease your stress and will make you feel more in control of yourself and your day.
 
Achieving calmness and control can feel impossible in today’s world. And the reality is, when you have a full time job, kids and a family, it is pretty busy. However, there is an excitement that comes with gaining control over yourself and your day.
 
You absolutely can feel calm and in control of your day. You absolutely can feel balanced in this busier time of year.
 
Meg Young, LCSW, PLLC can help as I love helping therapists, first responders, medical and court professionals maintain their passion by letting go of the stress of their job and finding the work life balance.
 
Since you are reading this, it is time to choose strength and call me today to gain back the life you have been missing this fall due to the busy-ness of your wonderful life and career. I look forward to helping you find the calmness and control you are looking for. Call me today! 941-462-4807.

You have a very stressful job. Seeing people’s pain and suffering every day is not something everybody can handle. First responders, doctors, nurses, and therapists may see people’s suffering in different ways, but the reality is each one of these professions is impacted by others’ suffering. However, as you are the person that those suffering come to for help, you have to be strong and not let their pain impact you. You have to not feel, not show emotion. Allowing emotion could actually be a detriment to your job as it can impact objectivity.
 
However, the struggle we run into is we bring this lack of feeling home. We don’t want to burden our families with what we saw or heard. We don’t want to worry them. We don’t want to break confidentiality. Sometimes we may not even know how to put into words what we saw or heard.
 
When we live life in a constant state of “I’m strong; I’m fine; nothing is wrong” and don’t allow ourselves to feel and process what we saw and heard, it affects our lives in numerous ways. When we don’t allow ourselves to process the day, the brain will take over and force us to think about it in order to process it. We start to feel less compassion and understanding because if we allow ourselves to feel compassion, we may bring that to work and risk not being objective. We change.
 
The downsides to this include feeling like you are alone, feeling overwhelmed and not sure what to do or where to go or how to deal with it, being unsure of yourself and your career, changes in appetite, mood, and behavior.
 
Not only does it impact us, but it impacts the very people we are trying to protect – our loved ones. We cannot change without them noticing. When we “lie” to them and say “I’m fine”, they know better. They see the changes. It makes them worry more. As they start to worry more, we start to fake it more in an attempt to “prove” we are ok, which happens to have the opposite effect than we are looking for.
 
The more we fake, the more they worry, the worse it gets. Then you might start noticing behavior changes in your children as they sense that something just isn’t right anymore. Even if they don’t know what is happening or aren’t old enough to understand. Reverting to younger behavior is common, looking for more attention is common, separation anxiety is common, anger outbursts or school behavior problems are common. Sleep problems are common.
 
Eventually, despite trying to act like everything is ok, you wind up in a place of complete chaos. Your whole life seems out of control. Work is irritating, you don’t want to go home because it isn’t a place of relaxation and enjoyment anymore, you don’t even want to go to the gym because it feels like a chore.
 
The truth is, you are completely normal. What you see and hear every day is outside of the normal scope of what a human deals with. Some people seem to have no problem with it – but the reality is, they show us what they want to see – just like you. You can play it off at work like you’re strong and ok. So can they.
 
Additionally, we all come with our own backgrounds. Our experiences make a difference in how we perceive and handle situations. Those people that seem to have it all together…maybe they have found a way to let their day and experiences go. It doesn’t mean they are better than you. It means they learned different things than you throughout life. It is not good or bad. It just is.
 
It’s ok to admit that your job is stressful. It’s ok to admit that you lost faith in humanity. It’s ok to admit that you panic when the phone rings and your kids are out. You are not alone in any of these thoughts or feelings.
 
It’s true that you feel overwhelmed, worried, anxious, and even a bit paranoid. However, there are several things that can help us increase control over those worries, anxieties and thoughts. When we do these top 10 things, it is entirely possibly to regain control of yourself, your life, and your mind.
 
Keep reading for the top 10 skills to start feeling some control today.
 
Are you feeling panicky, stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, worried, irritable, or think you’re going crazy?
 
The biggest downside to this feeling of stress and overwhelm is it doesn’t get better. In fact, it just gets worse. Any new experiences we have will compound the anxieties we already have, pulling us further and further into anxiety and overwhelm.
 
At the very least, you find yourself struggling to get through the day. You struggle with all of the responsibilities and things you need to take care of. Your brain is so focused on other things, or worry about other things, that it is hard to focus on what you have to do today.
 
Living this way is defeating. It is stressful and can start a spiral down into depression and hopelessness. We end up so focused on everything that can go poorly that we physiologically cannot focus on the positives and happinesses in life. The brain has taken over and you don’t feel like you have any control to get it back.
 
Would you like to feel more in control, at peace, and living life on your terms?
 
Although you struggle with worry and anxiety, you have the potential to take control of your life and your brain. You have the ability to feel the way you want to and not be dominated by your thoughts and your worries.
 
When we use these top 10 skills for maintaining control over feelings and thoughts, there is a possibility to enjoy your life and career again. There is the hope that you will live life according to your desires and not let the brain take control of you and your life.
 
You now have the opportunity to take control of your brain and see the changes you desire. There is no quick fix; your brain has taken the reins and won’t give them up easily, especially when the stress is ongoing. However, when you do these skills, you have the opportunity to take the reins back. It is not hopeless and it is not impossible.
 
Top 10 skills to achieve a feeling of control over worry and anxiety
 
Yes it is true you may be feeling stressed, worried, and even hopeless, but it does not have to be this way. You do not have to let your brain control you. You can control our thoughts. This is not just some mumbo jumbo. Therapists use these skills that they teach every day in order to prevent burnout and stress from hearing their client’s stories day after day. Nurses use these skills every day to let go of the pain they see from their clients day after day.
 
The key to achieving control is to first realize it will take time. The brain does not want to give up control. Second is to have patience and practice these skills daily…I tell my clients to practice 200 times per day. It doesn’t matter which or all of the top 10 skills you practice, just do it 200 times per day. (Ok, so I don’t expect my clients to actually do this 200 times per day, but the more you practice, the faster you will feel the results).
 
Making these changes is not as difficult as you think because each of these skills literally can take less than a minute if you want. Or you can take all the time you want with them. They are easy to do, and some of them you may realize you do already without realizing it.
 
Take a look at these 10 skills to see how you can achieve freedom and control of yourself and your life today.
 
1. Belly breathing
 
If you’ve ever watch a baby breathe, you will see that their stomach goes up and down with their breaths. As we go through life, with all it’s stressors, we tend to stop breathing from the belly and start breathing from the chest. Belly breathing is just making sure you are taking breaths that go in and out of the belly.
 
Belly breathing works because it improves the oxygen flow throughout the body versus shallow breaths from the chest. When the oxygen goes through the body more effectively, the entire system works more efficiently. It tells the brain that all is safe right now, and there is not reason to be nervous at this moment. It also provides the brain the oxygen to think more clearly and openly. It provides oxygenated energy to the limbs as well. Thus the entire body functions more efficiently.
 
2. Grounding
 
Grounding is simply being present right here right now with your surroundings. Often when we are stressed out or upset, we lose sight of what our current surroundings are. We are so focused on what is happening in our mind that we don’t see the reality of what is happening around us.
 
To use grounding, look around you – name 5 things that you see. Name 4 things you hear. Name 3 things you physically feel. Name 2 things you smell. Name 1 thing you taste. When you use all of your senses, one at a time, you are systematically turning off the stress response and turning on the calm body response. It helps you refocus.
 
3. Energy release
 
When we have a lot of adrenalin going through our body, it causes the body to be jittery. The body is ready to use the energy for survival – the fight/flight response. Sometimes when there is too much adrenalin in the body, it is very difficult to do meditation or other activities that calm the body. Often we need to do something more active.
 
This is where energy release comes in. It doesn’t really matter what you do to release energy as long as it is done safely. Sometimes people go for a run, sometimes people scream, sometimes people use a punching bag. What you are doing is releasing the adrenalin that is pumping through your body. This energy release should be done with a purpose, though. Do it mindfully and tell yourself what you are doing and the purpose of it and what you desire upon release of the energy.
 
4. Muscle relaxation
 
When we are overwhelmed, we tend to tense our muscles. Our body is on guard. The problem with this is muscle memory. Years and years of keeping your shoulders up at your ears is it happens without thinking about it. It just becomes habit and involuntary.
 
Using muscle relaxation is something you’ll have to do frequently. As an example of muscle memory, I have been going for a massage once per month for the past 7 years. My muscles still go back to being tight between each muscle. Along with muscle memory, the stressors continue, so the body continues to tighten with new experiences.
 
Sometimes it helps to tense each muscle group and then release. Sometimes we don’t notice that our muscles are tight. So tense the feet then release. Tense the calves and release. Tense the shins and release. Tense the thighs and release. Continue up your body through your jaw and face.
 
You’ll likely notice feeling looser by the end. You’ll also feel a bit more relaxed. Although this feeling may not stay with you all day, it is helpful to the brain and body even for the time you are feeling the difference in muscle tenseness.
 
5. Distraction
 
If you go for a walk and all you say is how much you wish you were sitting on the couch, why did you get up, this isn’t helping, etc, you will not feel any better. Distraction is like mindfulness. You want to distract yourself from what you are doing and just get into it.
 
The more you are able to distract from what is happening in your mind, the easier time you will have engaging in the new activity and feeling better overall. It is very helpful to stay mindful with the distraction as it will be more effective the more mindful you stay.
 
6. Thought stopping
 
You want to get yourself out of the hamster wheel in your mind. This is not an easy thing to do as the brain wants to keep you safe and it does this by continuing to think about what is stressing you out.
 
Thought stopping is doing something quick and powerful that will get your mind onto something else. Some people say “stop” to themselves while picturing a stop sign. Other people strongly clap their hands together. You need to find what works best for you.
 
7. Be with other people
 
When you are trying to keep yourself calm and out of worry and stress, distraction is helpful as noted above. One way to distract is to be with other people. Other people will talk with you, distract you, make you laugh (or at least try), and overall keep you safe and calmer. You can vent to other people if you need. You can talk about just about anything whether it is the stress or something else.
 
8. Focus on one thing here and now
 
This is the same as mindfulness. When you do the thought stopping, you then want to stay out of the thought pattern you were just in. You can do this by thinking of one thing here and now. This can be the grounding technique, or it can be thinking of the green grass you see outside and how does grass grow? Why does some grass grow better in different locations? Why are weeds heartier than grass? Or you can sing the alphabet in your mind.
 
The point is you want to continue to distract and keep yourself focused on one thing in order to stay out of the fight/flight overwhelm response.
 
9. Sing/scream/do something verbal
 
The adrenalin not only causes the jitteriness in your body, but it also causes the desire to release in a verbal way. Sometimes screaming is what will keep you alive. The desire for the body to stay alive will therefore cause a desire for a verbal outlet.
 
By singing or screaming or using another verbal outlet, you are releasing that energy allowing your body to calm down and in turn allowing your brain to calm down turning off the stress response. This is not an easy thing to do. The brain is set to survival and it will not let go of the reins easily.
 
10. Visualization
 
You want to use every sense that you have (sight, smell, hearing, taste, touch) to help with staying calm. However, the brain puts pieces together through visualization as well. So as you are doing these other nine techniques, don’t forget about doing some visualization as well.
 
Visualize something positive and happy. Try to choose something that has no negative connotation attached, and if something pops up negatively, choose a different visualization. Some people will choose a location (somewhere they’ve been or somewhere they’d like to go or somewhere made up). Some people will choose a time in their lives that was wonderful. Some people will choose to visualize their goals and how they feel achieving those goals.
 
These 10 techniques are all very powerful, but the reality is the brain does not give up easily. If you want to take control back, YOU have to take control back. YOU have to use these techniques 200 times per day.
 
Achieving freedom from worry, anxiety and overwhelm is not an easy journey, but the end result is so uplifting. You absolutely can get your life back. You absolutely can get control over your thoughts. It is not a hopeless endeavor.
 
Meg Young, LCSW can help you get there. I specialize with people just like you – nurses, doctors, therapists, first responders, corrections officers, probation and parole officers – you who are in the trenches with people walking through their pain with them. I specialize in helping you get where you want to be, encouraging you throughout the way, but also holding you accountable.
 
This is not an easy journey, so choose strength; choose power; and call me today. 941-462-4807.

You feel like you’re weak, not good enough. You think something is wrong with you. You just aren’t yourself anymore and it’s bothering you. You just don’t know who to talk to about it. You aren’t sure you even want others to know you’re thinking and feeling this way. So you suffer in silence.
 
Unfortunately, when we suffer in silence like this, it affects our lives in numerous ways. We start falling deeper into this emotional pit which also takes a physical toll on us. There may even come a time or two that the idea of suicide walks through our minds.
 
The downsides of suffering in silence not only affect us emotionally and physically, but affect those we love as we can’t hide our pain from them. We may take out our frustrations on them or tell them we’re fine when we are really not. We may withdraw from them or start engaging in risky behavior like excess alcohol use or other adrenalin pumping activities.
 
It is often a slippery slope that we try to ignore for awhile. There may have been small signs that if we look back, we can notice, but had excuses for in the moment. Now it’s come to this – panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, superimposing loved ones onto calls you’ve been on, racing heart, not being able to turn your brain off, not liking silence, trouble sleeping, and more.
 
Unfortunately, you’re so deep into the anxiety, stress, feelings of being a failure and embarrassment, that you don’t know how to get out of the hole. Hopelessness may have started to set in by now as well.
 
The reality is you are normal. You are sane. You are just like many other first responders who realized the cumulative impact of your job. You see such suffering every day. It is completely normal to struggle to make sense of the pain day after day, week after week, year after year. What humans can do to each other is unspeakable. What some accident scenes look like can be indescribable. Yet your brain tries to make sense of it – over and over because it cannot make it make sense.
 
It’s true that you’re feeling lost, scared, and unsure whether you will be ok. However, there is something that can help you regain a feeling of security and confidence in yourself. When you experience the process of EMDR, it is entirely possible to feel like your old self again and continue the career you were called to.
 
Keep reading for everything you need to know about EMDR so you can decide if it is right for you
 
WHAT IS EMDR?
 
EMDR is defined as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. By moving your eyes back and forth quickly (similarly to rapid eye movement during sleep), you will resolve intense feelings, unhelpful behaviors and generalized negative beliefs about yourself and the world, stemming from experiences you’ve had throughout your life or career.
 
It may sound kind of hokey, but there have been numerous studies showing the technique is real and does what it claims. It is supported as an evidenced based treatment model (meaning it has been extensively studied) by the VA and SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration).
 
It helps with anxiety, depression, PTSD, substance abuse, and secondary trauma (learning about someone else’s trauma). It resolves the nagging thoughts that we aren’t good enough, or aren’t safe enough, or the world is dangerous, or I’m not strong enough, or one of a million other negative self beliefs that go alone with depression, anxiety and PTSD.
 
HOW DOES EMDR WORK?
 
EMDR technically starts from our initial appointment. This is because EMDR is more than just the actual eye movement or reprocessing. EMDR begins with history taking (telling me about yourself). Then my clients and I review safety, including self regulation and coping. This is a vital part of the process and one I will not skip over or go through too quickly.
 
The actual reprocessing is what people associate EMDR with. This is when we do the back and forth eye motions. Many clients will do the eye movements, but many actually prefer the “tappers” which will rapidly vibrate alternately in each hand. This is just as effective as using eye movements. You will not be hypnotized. I want you to be aware of your surroundings and in the room with me at all times.
 
During reprocessing, we review and pull into the treatment emotions, thoughts, and body sensations as the body holds memories as well. Phantom limb pain is a good example of the body holding memories. We want to get rid of all the negative sensations – emotional, physical, and in the thoughts/mind – in order to fully reprocess the event(s).
 
There are three phases to active reprocessing. We start with the past experience(s) – what brought you to me, then the present triggers (what is bothering you still today), then the future (what if the distressing situation(s) happen again).
 
One thing my clients love about EMDR is they don’t have to share anything out loud they don’t want to. Traditional trauma therapies have you share the story with the therapist. With EMDR, you may never share anything with me. Yet, the technique will resolve your symptoms.
The Ultimate Guide to EMDR that Helps First Responders Obtain a Feeling of Security in Life
An important thing to keep in mind is you will not “forget” the memories. You will still have them. However, they will not be causing distress anymore. They will not continuously resurface.
 
When used over time, my clients naturally fall back into their old selves. Often they just start feeling better and can’t pinpoint anything different or why they are feeling better. It is a good feeling for them when they realize they haven’t had a panic attack in some time, or they slept through the night without nightmares.
 
WHO IS EMDR FOR?
 
EMDR works well with both adults and children. It helps people struggling with anxiety, depression, PTSD, secondary trauma, and substance use. People who respond well to EMDR often report nightmares, racing thoughts, inability to relax, irritability, stress, difficulty separating home and work, relationship problems, increased risky behaviors, and even behavioral changes in their children as they start responding to the client’s stress prior to engaging in EMDR.
 
It works well for all of these symptoms because the brain is wired for survival. When first responders see threats to life day after day, the alarm system of the brain becomes overactive and the stress response stays active causing the above symptoms. EMDR reprocesses these experiences so you remember them without carrying the baggage caused by an overactive alarm system in the brain.
 
My clients often see a decrease in physical symptoms such as gastrointestinal problems (stomach problems), headaches, and decreased blood pressure as well as an increase in overall life satisfaction. They feel confident, safe, and in control.
 
WHO ISN’T A GOOD FIT FOR EMDR?
 
First, EMDR doesn’t work for organic illnesses such as bipolar, ADD, and schizophrenia. Additionally, you want to make sure you have a competent therapist who is well trained in EMDR if you have large gaps of lost time in your memory, which could be caused by “dissociation.” If you get flashbacks (being transported back to the experience in your mind with all associated feelings, sensations, visuals, etc) this is a form of dissociation.
 
This is because with EMDR, I want you to stay present in the room. It is not hypnosis. You are fully aware of everything at all times. The therapist will need to help you stay present if you have episodes of dissociation.
 
With organic illnesses, it is not just a matter of reprocessing experiences. The brain is wired differently with illnesses such as bipolar, ADD, and schizophrenia, therefore EMDR is not effective with these illnesses.
 
WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM EMDR?
 
When you do EMDR with me, you and I will first do a thorough evaluation to know what we are targeting and what symptoms have developed. I will do a great deal of education with you about the physiology of trauma and why you are normal.
 
We will then move into safety and stabilization. If we move too quickly into reprocessing, we can actually make your symptoms worse and there is the potential you will stop therapy prematurely or spiral further down. As much as my clients want to get right into the reprocessing, this is a phase we cannot skip. In fact, some clients find that after getting through this phase, they don’t even need the reprocessing as self regulation is enough for them to be able to manage the symptoms.
 
Then we move into the reprocessing phase. We will first discuss the options of eye movements and tappers then start with something not too distressing so you can experience the process. When we reprocess what we are targeting, we have three options of where to star. We can start with what the worst symptom you are dealing with is, or the first time you thought or felt the identified symptom, or the most recent time the symptom bothered you. We will review the benefits of all three starting places and you will decide which you want to start with.
 
We do not have to do EMDR active reprocessing each session. During reprocessing, I do not want you to analyze or judge what is happening, so there will be very little “discussion” from me until the end of the day’s session. I leave time at the end of the session to discuss anything you want. However, sometimes my clients like to take a break from reprocessing to discuss and analyze what they did in the previous reprocessing session.
 
Finally, we move into post growth. Now what? Now that you’re feeling stable, safe and confident, we will discuss what’s next. Sometimes this is the end of therapy, and sometimes we’ll move into another bothersome area of life. You are completely in control of your therapy experience.
 
WHAT ARE YOUR NEXT STEPS?
 
Going forward, you can learn more about EMDR on the EMDRIA website or VA’s website. There is a ton of recent research and many websites to answer your questions.
 
The best thing to do if you are interested in EMDR is to schedule a session with me. We will discuss what EMDR is and whether it will work well for you. At any point, you can decide to do EMDR or to stop EMDR. You are in the driver’s seat and I will help guide you through safely and as quickly as possible.
 
WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT AFTER LEARNING ABOUT EMDR
 
Although you struggle with nightmares, difficulty separating work and home, racing thoughts, or irritability, you have the potential to enjoy your career as much as you did when you started.
 
Now that you know a lot about EMDR, and likely as much as you will without experiencing it yourself, there is the possibility for you to see for yourself the results you can get without having to share every gruesome detail of the calls you went on. You absolutely can get your life back and feel strong and confident in yourself and your career again.
 
You have the opportunity to spend just a few short hours of your life to get yourself feeling better about without the need to take medication, share details you don’t want to, or do meditation on a daily basis (if you don’t want to).
 
Achieving freedom from a chaotic mind can be exhilarating and is worth every penny and every minute of your time. You absolutely can get the results you’re hoping for and the life you long to get back.
 
Meg Young, LCSW, PLLC specializes in helping first responders, just like you, obtain this freedom and control. Visit my website to learn more about me at https://megyounglcsw.com or call me today to schedule an initial appointment to see what life can be like for you. I can be reached at 941-462-4807.

For those of us in any critical care giver role – police, firefighter, EMT, 911 dispatcher, therapist, counselor, doctor, nurse, probation/parole officer, corrections officer – PTSD is real. Unfortunately many people still see it as a weakness. We are supposed to be the strong ones; the ones the community comes to when they are in crisis and need to lean on someone’s strength. If we develop PTSD, there’s something wrong with us. At least this is still an all to common belief. Suicide among our first responders is higher than deaths from those in the military overseas this year, and it continues to rise, not fall.
 
Unfortunately, when we try to show a strong front to the world, we often fail to see the symptoms ourselves. We block it out or pretend it isn’t real. We make excuses for the symptoms we feel. We refuse to believe there is anything going on and refuse to get help.
 
The downsides to this are many, all the way to suicide. But there are many downsides prior to getting to a feeling of suicidality. We have self defeating feelings and thoughts about ourselves, we have behavior changes such as drinking, gambling, or other impulsive or reckless behaviors. We may have appetite and sleep changes. We may start withdrawing from others.
 
Not only does ignoring the symptoms affect us emotionally and behaviorally, we start to see changes in others around us. Our children’s behavior changes, our spouse’s behavior changes. Our friends and family may confront us a few times about how we are feeling or acting, but then they start to act different around us.
 
“Jessica” is a licensed therapist who works with children. She has been in the field for 14 years at this point and recently had a youth, 11 years old, come to her with her mom. The youth had been brutally attacked and was struggling to get back to normalcy. Jessica had her own 12 year old daughter. After meeting with this client several times, Jessica started becoming more protective of her own daughter and started feeling more anxious, even paranoid, about the outside world.
 
Her anxieties affected her sleep, her activity choices, what she allowed her daughter to get involved in, and so much more. She strongly believed she was being a good mother and protecting her daughter. There is no doubt Jessica was being a good mother, but were her actions and feelings necessary to the extreme she felt them and acted on them?
 
Without you having all of the details of Jessica’s struggles, it is impossible for you to answer that question. But I wonder if you can relate to Jessica and her change in attitude and behavior due to experiences she had at work.
 
We often make excuses for our behaviors. Excuses aren’t necessarily good or bad. They are just reasons. Take the judgement out of the equation and you may be able to relate. Jessica’s experiences at work made her feel justified in her over-protectiveness with her daughter. Again, right or wrong is not the debate here.
 
However, when our experiences at work change our feelings and behaviors at home and in our own lives, it can lead to a great deal of extra stress. Not only are we worried about our clients and work, but now we are also worried about our own lives and loved ones.
 
Eventually you wind up in a place of helplessness and overwhelm. Things seem to spiral out of control faster and faster and you feel less and less in control of yourself and your world. You may even wonder how it came to this – poor health habits, more anxiety, less happiness in life.
 
You are not alone. Many of our first responders, therapists, doctors and nurses have been where you are, currently are where you are, and/or will be where you are. The reality is, PTSD from our job is real and is normal. Secondary trauma is just as traumatic as first hand trauma in many (not all) ways. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) which therapists use to help guide diagnoses has even changed the criteria of PTSD to include secondary trauma: “Indirect exposure to aversive details of the trauma, usually in the course of professional duties.”
 
I know that you are struggling with admitting to yourself that your behavior and attitude has changed to the point where it’s affected your life and I know you strongly believe that you are justified in how you feel and act. I do not necessarily believe you are NOT justified in those feelings and actions. But when those feelings and actions have caused you to wind up in a place of helplessness and overwhelm, it is time to take a look at online therapy. Online counseling, also called telehealth or telemental health, is a legal, ethical, and effective way to get your life back on track in a quick way from the comfort of your own home. When you fully understand online or video counseling, it is entirely possible to overcome your biases about coming to therapy and reobtain the life you want and deserve.
 
Keep reading for everything you need to know about online/video counseling so you can start feeling more in control of your mind and your life today.
 
WHAT EXACTLY IS TELEHEALTH OR ONLINE COUNSELING?
 
Telehealth is defined a bit differently in each state, making policies around telehealth, especially across state lines, more difficult. In general, telehealth is broadly defined as the use of technology to provide healthcare services. These technologies include texting, phone calls, emails, or video counseling.
 
For the purpose of this blog, I am going to explain the benefits of video counseling. Video counseling is where the therapist is at their computer in one location while the client is at their computer at a different location. Both parties sign onto a HIPAA compliant web platform which includes video and audio capabilities (it is important to ask your therapist whether they are using a HIPAA compliant web platform for the security of your session) to conduct the session. This means the therapist is meeting with the client in real time. The therapist can see the client on their screen and the client can see the therapist on their screen and both parties talk as normal as the computer’s microphone will pick up the voice and transmit it to the other party.
 
Video counseling is a legal and ethical method of seeing a counselor. In fact, many insurance companies are starting to reimburse therapists for use of video counseling. With my clients, I noticed that often they feel more comfortable in their own homes and thus feel more free to work on and be honest about what is going on for them. This allows for more work to be done in less time, which is a win-win.
 
Research shows that there is a growing desire for the use of telehealth and the benefits of it are tremendous. There are studies citing clients improving faster thus costing the state less money, less overhead costs, and the ability to reach more clients. Several factors can get in the way of getting to a therapists office – childcare/eldercare concerns, weather concerns, transportation concerns, living in a rural area and thus not having access to a therapist, some mental health conditions such as severe anxiety or agoraphobia, and more. When these barriers to treatment are eliminated, the client is able to get the care they need and thus return to a healthy level of functioning including returning to work as appropriate.
 
HOW DOES ONLINE COUNSELING WORK?
 
When my client and I use video counseling, we start by signing an additional informed consent. Telehealth has risks that coming to a therapist’s office does not (for example a spouse coming home from work and walking into your session). The client and I then discuss the platform I use, how to get onto it, how it works, and even do a practice run to ensure the client understands the platform. Each session starts with a set regimen including review of safety and concerns or questions regarding technology from last session before getting into each session. We periodically review how the online sessions are working for the client and if there is anything that they would like to see different with our sessions.
 
There are several HIPAA compliant web platforms therapists can choose from. You want to make sure your therapist uses a HIPAA compliant platform to minimize the risk of data breeches. Not all video platforms are HIPAA compliant and telephones generally are not HIPAA compliant either.
 
With the platform I use, there is nothing for you to download if you use your computer. There is an app to download if you use your phone for sessions. I will send you a link to your session which will be your link for our sessions. Nobody else will have the same link.
 
When I use video counseling with my clients regularly, I tend to see a shift in their behaviors and attitudes relatively quickly. As stated above, I believe this is due to them feeling more comfortable in their homes thus they are able to open up and be more honest thus facilitating change quicker. My clients start to feel calm, safe and secure and start to enjoy the online sessions. Many of them report they like our online sessions better than in person sessions.
 
WHO IS ONLINE COUNSELING FOR?
 
Online counseling works well for people who are ready, willing, and able to do the work needed to get better. It works well with people struggling from PTSD, which is my specialty, as well as those struggling with depression, anxiety, substance use, parenting, stage of life changes, and more. It is good for people who are looking for confidentiality such as police officers who do not want to be seen going in and out of a therapist’s office.
 
The reason it works so well is because the client is able to immediately put into practice what they did in session. They do not have to wait the 30 minute drive home where some of what they did in session is now in the back of their mind. The client, who is ready, willing, and able to make changes tends to put those skills to use immediately after they get off the computer. Because they do the skills immediately, results are seen faster.
 
My blog last week about maintaining motivation mentions motivation follows action. When my clients get off the computer and immediately take action, instead of having to drive home first, the cycle of action/motivation begins right away decreasing the time needed to spend in therapy.
 
These type of motivated clients often see results like improved sleep, improved ability to handle stressors at home and at work, improved relationships with their loved ones, decreased racing thoughts, improved ability to stay on task, increased happiness and an increased sense of control.
 
WHO ISN’T A GOOD FIT FOR ONLINE COUNSELING?
 
Online counseling doesn’t work well for people who are actively or frequently suicidal, people who are currently in an abusive relationship, people who do not have a reliable internet connection, people who have psychosis, children, people who do not have privacy in their homes (can’t get into a quiet location where they will not be interrupted), and possibly others as well. If you are considering telehealth with a therapist, the therapist will discuss with you your needs and circumstances and together will make a determination of online counseling is appropriate for you.
 
Not everyone is right for online counseling. That does not mean there is something wrong with you or your circumstances. There is a lot of additional risk that needs to be taken into account for both the therapist and you. Picture this: You are talking about something very serious and upsetting and because you have poor internet connectivity, your connection drops. You don’t realize immediately that the connection dropped on your end and you start to wonder what happened. Did the therapist hang up on you? Did you say something wrong? Even when you realize that the connection dropped on your end, you still have residual feelings because you were talking about something upsetting and were interrupted causing more bad feelings and questions. If this happens semi-regularly, it can become very frustrating to both you and the therapist.
 
When a prospective client and I talk and decide that online counseling is not appropriate, I will talk with the client about seeing me in person, or referring out, depending on the client’s needs and location. Just because someone isn’t a good fit today doesn’t mean they won’t be a good fit for online counseling in the future. This is an important point to keep in mind.
 
WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM ONLINE COUNSELING?
 
When you participate in video counseling, you can expect the same professionalism as you would from a therapist you see in the office. There are several things I do at the start of each session to ensure we have a positive and professional session that will help you meet your goals. This starts with a reminder to make sure you are in a quiet location with where you will not be interrupted and turning off your phone as if you were in my office. I do the same on my end to ensure both confidentiality and making sure I am giving you 100% of my attention just like you are in my office.
 
Also, you will expect to see results. Telemental health is often a better way to do therapy for my clients because they know they are in a confidential location and won’t be seen coming in and out of a therapist’s office, thus reducing their anxiety about coming to therapy to begin with. As they are more comfortable in the sessions, they are also able to do more and better work in less time.
 
In addition, you can expect pros and cons just like in an office. One thing that we talk about each session is technology doesn’t always work. What if the sound stops working? What if the internet drops? We discuss these issues at the beginning of each session to ensure we have a plan of action in case something does go awry with technology.
 
WHAT ARE YOUR NEXT STEPS?
 
Going forward, you can learn more about online counseling in a variety of places. One place with a wealth of information is www.telehealth.org. This is a website that provides a lot of resources including links to state specific information. You can find online clients on the website as well who have been through their intensive online counseling courses to learn the safety and best practices for an online therapy business. You can also find information about online therapy at my website: https://megyounglcsw.com.
 
The best thing to do if you are interested in online counseling, however, is to schedule a session with me. We will discuss everything we need to even before going online. The best way to learn is to experience something first hand.
 
WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT ABOUT ONLINE COUNSELING AFTER LEARNING ABOUT IT
 
Although you struggle with skepticism and worry at this time, you have the potential to really get your life back to where you want it with minimal time. Now that you know everything there is to know about video based counseling, there is a possibility for you to also find the therapy experience enjoyable. You have the opportunity to make changes in your life right from your own home and obtain the freedom and control you so desire to get back in your life.
 
Achieving freedom and control can be a positive experience. You absolutely can get a lot of work done in minimal time through use of telehealth. Meg Young, LCSW can help because I work with you to achieve your goals online, providing you with a successful online counseling experience.
 
Call me today 942-462-4807 today to schedule an appointment.