It seems like every time we turn around, there’s another crisis in the news. Whether floods, earthquakes, or other natural disasters, mass shootings, terrorist attacks, or bombs going off in crowded places killing innocent people, there seems to always be something scary and disturbing happening. Disasters of any variety can have severe impacts on our mental health. People involved in the disasters as well as first responders and family members/friends of those involved can have a number of psychological stress reactions that can cause lasting impacts. What can you do if you or someone you know and love was impacted by a disaster (or even if you just heard about it and are impacted by it)? First, take control of what you can. Remember, you can only control yourself and your responses. Make sure you are getting the support and care you need in order to be okay. Take inventory of what happened and what you can (and may have to) do next. Reach out for help if you need it – identify what others can do to help you – is it emotional? Financial? Basic needs (food, shelter, water)? Etc. Ask for the help you need. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Even if you were not directly impacted by the disaster, it may have still had an impact on you which you need to reach out for help to get through. Talk with others about how you are coping. Additionally, it often helps to “get involved.” Join a group that helps others, volunteer. Often giving back can bring peace and help us make sense of what happened while helping others who are going through an event similar to what we went through. Allow yourself to grieve. Often with disasters, something was lost – whether tangible, physical or emotional. You are not alone if you are struggling to cope with a disaster.

Child abuse is so prevalent around the world, but even in the United States it is staggering. It is estimated that between four and seven children die per day in the United States due to abuse or neglect and a report to child protection agencies happens every 10 seconds. (See Childhelp.org). Children who are abused or neglected are at a higher risk for developing mental health and physical health problems later in life. One study showed that 80% of people 21 years of age who reported being abused in childhood met the criteria for at least one mental health disorder. (See Childhelp.org). There is also a disproportionate number of people in prisons who have childhood abuse histories (14% of men and 36% of women). Furthermore, of people involved in drug/alcohol programs, as much as 2/3 have childhood abuse histories. (See Childhelp.org). With all the financial, social, psychological, legal, and medical effects child abuse has, it is sad to see that our country (along with others) is still suffering with this plague. I mentioned in an earlier post about secrets. Child abuse, especially sexual abuse, is shrouded in secrecy. If we can teach our children not to hold secrets – ever – we can start to bring this issue to the surface and really strike hard at it. Let’s teach different wording. If it is a surprise birthday party and you’re not supposed to tell the person, it’s not a “secret” but a “surprise” or something similar. If you are giving a cookie to a child and say “It’s our secret” because it’s almost dinner time, say something different, like “this is a treat” or something similar. Let’s teach our children not to ever use the term “secret.” By teaching children that secrets are bad, if they get into an abusive situation, they will understand it is NOT a “secret” and they absolutely have to tell someone about it. Let’s learn to be good mentors and teachers to our children. Please go to Childhelp.org or National Children’s Alliance or any other website designed to bring the issue to light and offer ways to battle this illness our country is gripped with. Let’s strike back at child abuse.

Generally speaking, yes! There are some illnesses that make it difficult to hold a full time job, but people with several illnesses work every day. Just because you have a mental illness doesn’t mean it is a life sentence to disability. Untreated, depression can feel like an endless pit that a person cannot get out of, but treated, most people are able to live happy and successful lives. It is important to work with your therapist, take medication as prescribed, and utilize support groups. The important thing is to not give up hope. As I’ve said previously, hope is so important in recovery. Mental illnesses are just like other diseases – with medication and support, successful lives are possible. Think about someone with diabetes or high blood pressure. The illnesses are not cured with medication, but you will be able to live a normal life with it being treated. Sometimes the medication isn’t working well and it needs to be adjusted. Same with mental illness – sometimes medication needs to be adjusted. It is not something to feel like a failure about. You wouldn’t feel like a failure if your high blood pressure medication wasn’t working and needs to be adjusted. Mental illness is so prevalent in our society, it would be a shame if everyone with mental illness gave up hope and stopped working and stopped engaging in life. Can you imagine that? Instead, stay goal-oriented…what do you want to do? What are your goals? What do you need to do to meet your goals? What can you do today to work on your goals? There may be times you do not have the motivation or desire…but even people without mental illness don’t have motivation and desire to do what they want to or should do every day. That is also ok. Don’t make your expectations so high that they are unreachable. A happy and successful life is within your reach!

There has been a lot of discussion related to bullying in the media recently. Bullying is not a new trend, but as the stigma of mental illness is decreased, more and more people are opening up about being bullied and the effects it has on them – some of these effects can be life-long. Bullying interferes with social development and self esteem. It causes increased risk of depression, anxiety, and suicide. There is an enormous amount of research backing up the ill-effects bullying has on children, adolescents and even adults.
What can a parent do about bullying? Teach your children about bullying. Teach them what bullying is. Teach them how to be safe and how to appropriately stand up for themselves. Keep the lines of communication open with your children. Let them know you are a safe person to talk to about bullying. Check in with them; listen to them; listen to their concerns. Ask questions and be interested in what is happening at school and with their friends.
What if someone I know is being bullied? Help them learn to stand up for themselves appropriately and get the proper support from adults. Telling an adult that you or someone you know is being bullied is not being a “tattle tale” or a “rat.” Telling someone who has authority and can help brings the problem to light. A problem cannot be solved if it is unknown. Furthermore, it gives the opportunity for the person being bullied to get help and not spiral into depression or suicide. Be supportive to that friend, but not in a secretive way – don’t hold the secret that they are being bullied. Secrets are dangerous. (By the way, keep this in mind; secrets are dangerous. I will talk about keeping secrets in another blog post).