As I’m sure you can imagine, those with depression are more likely to attempt suicide, but do you know just how prevalent suicidal thoughts and attempts are? Those with mental health issues are approximately 10 times as likely to attempt suicide as those without mental health disorders. According to NAMI.org, approximately 41,000 people take their own lives each year in the United States! Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in adults and the 3rd leading cause of death in children and young adults. Telling someone that they are loved and would be leaving behind so many loved ones if they kill themselves seems to be the right thing to do to support people when they are in such distress, but in fact, it is not that helpful. People who are in the depths of depression sometimes truly believe they would be helping others if they were dead…they would no longer be a burden in their minds. The brain of someone who has suicidal thoughts does not see the negative effects of suicide, but sees the positives in them dying. It seems so backwards to those that do not suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts. So what can someone do to help someone dealing with these thoughts? First – know the warning signs. When people talk about suicide or even state things like “things would be so much better if I weren’t here” are more obvious signs. Other signs to look for include those with depression – isolation, withdrawal, writing about death, etc. It potentially becomes more serious when people who have been depressed all of a sudden feel a sense of calm – it is not uncommon that when people suffering from depression suddenly feel calm and at peace, they have made a decision to end their lives. Furthermore, when they start giving away their possessions, saying good bye to loved ones, getting their affairs in order – these are signs to look for. There could be other risk factors to look for such as suicide in the family (there is evidence that the risk of suicide increases with family history of suicide), substance abuse, age (adolescent to young adult and elderly are at higher risk), gender (males are more likely to succeed while women are more likely to attempt without success). Mental illness, trauma histories and constant stress are other risk factors. If you see any of these signs or risk factors, it is absolutely ok to ask the person if they are feeling suicidal. If someone is not suicidal, asking them about it will NOT put the thought in their head. It is safe and a good idea to ask them about it. Be supportive; listen to them. It can be helpful to talk about going to the hospital with them and trying to get them to go on their own. Get your own support – again look at NAMI’s website for support groups. Helping someone with severe depression and suicidal thoughts can be difficult. Don’t tell them what they would be throwing away or leaving behind. Instead validate that they are feeling miserable right now and help them get help. Always take them seriously – even someone who has had several unsuccessful attempts is looking for help, they are generally not looking for attention. Those who have had several unsuccessful attempts are at increased risk because they may succeed unintentionally. Help them get the support and help they need while ensuring you are getting the support you need as well. Suicide is a preventable health condition that we all need to give proper attention to.

Hope is a key aspect of recovery. Depression can sometimes feel like a never-ending deepening hole with no escape. When that happens, having hope that things will improve or that you will ever feel better feels less and less likely and people start to give up hope. My sincere desire is that you never give up hope. Michael Cartwright, creator and CEO of American Addiction Centers wrote a book that I highly recommend called Believable Hope in which he discusses the importance of not only having hope to overcome addiction (or any other negative aspect you are dealing with), but also believing change is possible. Having hope and believing it is possible are paramount to feeling better. See what you can find each day that increases your hope. What do you see each day in your life that is positive? In essence, “stop and smell the flowers” sometimes. Keep a log of anything positive or hopeful – any feeling you have, any successes you have, etc. Sometimes it is very hard to see the small changes. Keeping a log will help you see the small things. It is ok to feel hopeless at times, but my sincere hope for you is that feeling does not stay long and you are able to start identifying any sources of support and start to believe that change is possible. Keep the hope!

Have you ever felt anxious? Of course you have. Anxiety is a natural emotion. It is also one of the biggest “disorders” within mental health. Anxiety is vital. You should feel anxious in certain situations; it’s what keeps us alive. For example, a young woman walking alone down a dark alley she is unknown with at night in the middle of a dangerous city should feel some sense of anxiety. What exactly is anxiety, though? Anxiety is what we feel when our body’s sense of perceived threat is awakened. When we are in a potentially dangerous situation, our body reacts – our senses are more keen, blood pressure and heart rate increase, thoughts may be racing, we feel a little shaky. If there is potential danger that turns into real danger, these bodily reactions are what put us in the flight, fight, freeze mode to keep us alive. We will run, fight or freeze depending on how our body reacts to the real danger. Our bodies are in sympathetic dominance. There are a lot of studies indicating when a person’s body is frequently in sympathetic dominance, many health problems can result – high blood pressure, heart problems, etc. If we are not really in danger, it is better to bring our bodies into parasympathetic dominance. Bringing the heart rate back to normal, bringing the blood pressure back to normal, loosening the muscles in our bodies, etc. This is a very hard thing to do when someone is constantly perceiving danger and constantly in a state of anxiety. Often times without really delving into it, we don’t even know why we are perceiving danger and thus in sympathetic dominance. I’m sure you’ve been told to “just calm down.” or “relax.” This seems so simple, but is so very elusive to those with chronic anxiety. So is there really anything we can do to bring our bodies into parasympathetic dominance without medication? The answer is YES! First, the disclaimers…change is very difficult and takes time. You will not decrease your anxiety over night. Second, anxiety is a normal part of life…it keeps us alive; it pushes us to do new things in a practiced manner. You do not want to get rid of all your anxiety. The thing about anxiety management is it is so simple yet so hard. When people say “Just calm down” or “relax” – that is exactly what you need to do….over and over and over a million times per day until your body is able to do it regularly on it’s own. Self-regulation skills and relaxation skills several times per day, while working with your thoughts – am I in real danger right now? This anxiety is my friend, not my enemy, etc. Practice letting go of all your muscle tension many times per day – tighten all your muscles at once, then release them all at the same time. Put your hands behind your head while sitting down, lean back just a little, and breathe several times in and out slowly. Say to yourself exactly what you see, hear, smell, touch, and taste – explain what you sense to yourself. Do a little dance to get rid of some excess tension in your body. The more you can practice this over and over and the more that you notice when you need to do it, the faster the change happens. It sounds silly, but it honestly works if you give it the time and energy it takes to change a behavior. For many people, being overly anxious has been a part of life for most of their lives. You cannot expect it to change because you tried relaxation or self-regulation for a few days one week…or even for that matter one month. It is absolutely possible to live a life that is not filled with anxiety and muscle tension. Give it a try!

Depression is one of the most common mental health disorders. It was estimated that approximately 16 million adults met the criteria for major depressive disorder last year. (see NAMI’s website). Depression has a variety of causes both biological and environmental, and is more than just feeling sad. We all go through periods of sadness in our life; this is normal and expected. When sadness becomes overwhelming, potentially with thoughts of suicide, not taking care of yourself (not eating well – either too much or too little, not sleeping well – either sleeping too much or too little, not showering or caring about your upkeep, isolating from others you love, not enjoying things you once did, it may be time to seek out professional assistance to determine if you have depression. If depression lasts too long, it can seem like a huge black hole, consuming you and seemingly hopeless to get out of. How, then, can you alleviate some of the symptoms of depression? First, hold hope that it can and will improve. Have you ever been successful at doing something that you’ve given up trying to accomplish? Second, take care of yourself. The body and brain are very complex and need a variety of components to work optimally. It is imperative that you eat well to give yourself the energy you need to get through each day. Get plenty of sleep, but not too much. Exercise and find time for relaxation each day. Make sure you get in the shower, brush your teeth and get dressed, even if you don’t feel like it. Do things that make you feel calm – use your senses (scented candles, bubble baths, massages, etc). Even only a few minutes of this daily can make so much of a difference. Third, give yourself a break; don’t beat yourself up. Overcoming depression takes time; it does not happen over night. Do not give up on it. Working on depression recovery is a lot of work, but in the end is so worthwhile and rewarding!