For those of us in any critical care giver role – police, firefighter, EMT, 911 dispatcher, therapist, counselor, doctor, nurse, probation/parole officer, corrections officer – PTSD is real. Unfortunately many people still see it as a weakness. We are supposed to be the strong ones; the ones the community comes to when they are in crisis and need to lean on someone’s strength. If we develop PTSD, there’s something wrong with us. At least this is still an all to common belief. Suicide among our first responders is higher than deaths from those in the military overseas this year, and it continues to rise, not fall.
 
Unfortunately, when we try to show a strong front to the world, we often fail to see the symptoms ourselves. We block it out or pretend it isn’t real. We make excuses for the symptoms we feel. We refuse to believe there is anything going on and refuse to get help.
 
The downsides to this are many, all the way to suicide. But there are many downsides prior to getting to a feeling of suicidality. We have self defeating feelings and thoughts about ourselves, we have behavior changes such as drinking, gambling, or other impulsive or reckless behaviors. We may have appetite and sleep changes. We may start withdrawing from others.
 
Not only does ignoring the symptoms affect us emotionally and behaviorally, we start to see changes in others around us. Our children’s behavior changes, our spouse’s behavior changes. Our friends and family may confront us a few times about how we are feeling or acting, but then they start to act different around us.
 
“Jessica” is a licensed therapist who works with children. She has been in the field for 14 years at this point and recently had a youth, 11 years old, come to her with her mom. The youth had been brutally attacked and was struggling to get back to normalcy. Jessica had her own 12 year old daughter. After meeting with this client several times, Jessica started becoming more protective of her own daughter and started feeling more anxious, even paranoid, about the outside world.
 
Her anxieties affected her sleep, her activity choices, what she allowed her daughter to get involved in, and so much more. She strongly believed she was being a good mother and protecting her daughter. There is no doubt Jessica was being a good mother, but were her actions and feelings necessary to the extreme she felt them and acted on them?
 
Without you having all of the details of Jessica’s struggles, it is impossible for you to answer that question. But I wonder if you can relate to Jessica and her change in attitude and behavior due to experiences she had at work.
 
We often make excuses for our behaviors. Excuses aren’t necessarily good or bad. They are just reasons. Take the judgement out of the equation and you may be able to relate. Jessica’s experiences at work made her feel justified in her over-protectiveness with her daughter. Again, right or wrong is not the debate here.
 
However, when our experiences at work change our feelings and behaviors at home and in our own lives, it can lead to a great deal of extra stress. Not only are we worried about our clients and work, but now we are also worried about our own lives and loved ones.
 
Eventually you wind up in a place of helplessness and overwhelm. Things seem to spiral out of control faster and faster and you feel less and less in control of yourself and your world. You may even wonder how it came to this – poor health habits, more anxiety, less happiness in life.
 
You are not alone. Many of our first responders, therapists, doctors and nurses have been where you are, currently are where you are, and/or will be where you are. The reality is, PTSD from our job is real and is normal. Secondary trauma is just as traumatic as first hand trauma in many (not all) ways. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) which therapists use to help guide diagnoses has even changed the criteria of PTSD to include secondary trauma: “Indirect exposure to aversive details of the trauma, usually in the course of professional duties.”
 
I know that you are struggling with admitting to yourself that your behavior and attitude has changed to the point where it’s affected your life and I know you strongly believe that you are justified in how you feel and act. I do not necessarily believe you are NOT justified in those feelings and actions. But when those feelings and actions have caused you to wind up in a place of helplessness and overwhelm, it is time to take a look at online therapy. Online counseling, also called telehealth or telemental health, is a legal, ethical, and effective way to get your life back on track in a quick way from the comfort of your own home. When you fully understand online or video counseling, it is entirely possible to overcome your biases about coming to therapy and reobtain the life you want and deserve.
 
Keep reading for everything you need to know about online/video counseling so you can start feeling more in control of your mind and your life today.
 
WHAT EXACTLY IS TELEHEALTH OR ONLINE COUNSELING?
 
Telehealth is defined a bit differently in each state, making policies around telehealth, especially across state lines, more difficult. In general, telehealth is broadly defined as the use of technology to provide healthcare services. These technologies include texting, phone calls, emails, or video counseling.
 
For the purpose of this blog, I am going to explain the benefits of video counseling. Video counseling is where the therapist is at their computer in one location while the client is at their computer at a different location. Both parties sign onto a HIPAA compliant web platform which includes video and audio capabilities (it is important to ask your therapist whether they are using a HIPAA compliant web platform for the security of your session) to conduct the session. This means the therapist is meeting with the client in real time. The therapist can see the client on their screen and the client can see the therapist on their screen and both parties talk as normal as the computer’s microphone will pick up the voice and transmit it to the other party.
 
Video counseling is a legal and ethical method of seeing a counselor. In fact, many insurance companies are starting to reimburse therapists for use of video counseling. With my clients, I noticed that often they feel more comfortable in their own homes and thus feel more free to work on and be honest about what is going on for them. This allows for more work to be done in less time, which is a win-win.
 
Research shows that there is a growing desire for the use of telehealth and the benefits of it are tremendous. There are studies citing clients improving faster thus costing the state less money, less overhead costs, and the ability to reach more clients. Several factors can get in the way of getting to a therapists office – childcare/eldercare concerns, weather concerns, transportation concerns, living in a rural area and thus not having access to a therapist, some mental health conditions such as severe anxiety or agoraphobia, and more. When these barriers to treatment are eliminated, the client is able to get the care they need and thus return to a healthy level of functioning including returning to work as appropriate.
 
HOW DOES ONLINE COUNSELING WORK?
 
When my client and I use video counseling, we start by signing an additional informed consent. Telehealth has risks that coming to a therapist’s office does not (for example a spouse coming home from work and walking into your session). The client and I then discuss the platform I use, how to get onto it, how it works, and even do a practice run to ensure the client understands the platform. Each session starts with a set regimen including review of safety and concerns or questions regarding technology from last session before getting into each session. We periodically review how the online sessions are working for the client and if there is anything that they would like to see different with our sessions.
 
There are several HIPAA compliant web platforms therapists can choose from. You want to make sure your therapist uses a HIPAA compliant platform to minimize the risk of data breeches. Not all video platforms are HIPAA compliant and telephones generally are not HIPAA compliant either.
 
With the platform I use, there is nothing for you to download if you use your computer. There is an app to download if you use your phone for sessions. I will send you a link to your session which will be your link for our sessions. Nobody else will have the same link.
 
When I use video counseling with my clients regularly, I tend to see a shift in their behaviors and attitudes relatively quickly. As stated above, I believe this is due to them feeling more comfortable in their homes thus they are able to open up and be more honest thus facilitating change quicker. My clients start to feel calm, safe and secure and start to enjoy the online sessions. Many of them report they like our online sessions better than in person sessions.
 
WHO IS ONLINE COUNSELING FOR?
 
Online counseling works well for people who are ready, willing, and able to do the work needed to get better. It works well with people struggling from PTSD, which is my specialty, as well as those struggling with depression, anxiety, substance use, parenting, stage of life changes, and more. It is good for people who are looking for confidentiality such as police officers who do not want to be seen going in and out of a therapist’s office.
 
The reason it works so well is because the client is able to immediately put into practice what they did in session. They do not have to wait the 30 minute drive home where some of what they did in session is now in the back of their mind. The client, who is ready, willing, and able to make changes tends to put those skills to use immediately after they get off the computer. Because they do the skills immediately, results are seen faster.
 
My blog last week about maintaining motivation mentions motivation follows action. When my clients get off the computer and immediately take action, instead of having to drive home first, the cycle of action/motivation begins right away decreasing the time needed to spend in therapy.
 
These type of motivated clients often see results like improved sleep, improved ability to handle stressors at home and at work, improved relationships with their loved ones, decreased racing thoughts, improved ability to stay on task, increased happiness and an increased sense of control.
 
WHO ISN’T A GOOD FIT FOR ONLINE COUNSELING?
 
Online counseling doesn’t work well for people who are actively or frequently suicidal, people who are currently in an abusive relationship, people who do not have a reliable internet connection, people who have psychosis, children, people who do not have privacy in their homes (can’t get into a quiet location where they will not be interrupted), and possibly others as well. If you are considering telehealth with a therapist, the therapist will discuss with you your needs and circumstances and together will make a determination of online counseling is appropriate for you.
 
Not everyone is right for online counseling. That does not mean there is something wrong with you or your circumstances. There is a lot of additional risk that needs to be taken into account for both the therapist and you. Picture this: You are talking about something very serious and upsetting and because you have poor internet connectivity, your connection drops. You don’t realize immediately that the connection dropped on your end and you start to wonder what happened. Did the therapist hang up on you? Did you say something wrong? Even when you realize that the connection dropped on your end, you still have residual feelings because you were talking about something upsetting and were interrupted causing more bad feelings and questions. If this happens semi-regularly, it can become very frustrating to both you and the therapist.
 
When a prospective client and I talk and decide that online counseling is not appropriate, I will talk with the client about seeing me in person, or referring out, depending on the client’s needs and location. Just because someone isn’t a good fit today doesn’t mean they won’t be a good fit for online counseling in the future. This is an important point to keep in mind.
 
WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM ONLINE COUNSELING?
 
When you participate in video counseling, you can expect the same professionalism as you would from a therapist you see in the office. There are several things I do at the start of each session to ensure we have a positive and professional session that will help you meet your goals. This starts with a reminder to make sure you are in a quiet location with where you will not be interrupted and turning off your phone as if you were in my office. I do the same on my end to ensure both confidentiality and making sure I am giving you 100% of my attention just like you are in my office.
 
Also, you will expect to see results. Telemental health is often a better way to do therapy for my clients because they know they are in a confidential location and won’t be seen coming in and out of a therapist’s office, thus reducing their anxiety about coming to therapy to begin with. As they are more comfortable in the sessions, they are also able to do more and better work in less time.
 
In addition, you can expect pros and cons just like in an office. One thing that we talk about each session is technology doesn’t always work. What if the sound stops working? What if the internet drops? We discuss these issues at the beginning of each session to ensure we have a plan of action in case something does go awry with technology.
 
WHAT ARE YOUR NEXT STEPS?
 
Going forward, you can learn more about online counseling in a variety of places. One place with a wealth of information is www.telehealth.org. This is a website that provides a lot of resources including links to state specific information. You can find online clients on the website as well who have been through their intensive online counseling courses to learn the safety and best practices for an online therapy business. You can also find information about online therapy at my website: https://megyounglcsw.com.
 
The best thing to do if you are interested in online counseling, however, is to schedule a session with me. We will discuss everything we need to even before going online. The best way to learn is to experience something first hand.
 
WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT ABOUT ONLINE COUNSELING AFTER LEARNING ABOUT IT
 
Although you struggle with skepticism and worry at this time, you have the potential to really get your life back to where you want it with minimal time. Now that you know everything there is to know about video based counseling, there is a possibility for you to also find the therapy experience enjoyable. You have the opportunity to make changes in your life right from your own home and obtain the freedom and control you so desire to get back in your life.
 
Achieving freedom and control can be a positive experience. You absolutely can get a lot of work done in minimal time through use of telehealth. Meg Young, LCSW can help because I work with you to achieve your goals online, providing you with a successful online counseling experience.
 
Call me today 942-462-4807 today to schedule an appointment.

Sticking with a new behavior or life style change is incredibly hard. Many people each day give up on their goals because change is so difficult. Many people think “It’s not worth it” “I can’t do it” “Never mind” “It’s too hard” or one of a million other negative self statements.
 
Unfortunately, when we live life believing that change is impossible, it affects our lives in numerous ways. We start to second guess ourselves, start to believe we’re not good enough, and start to feel badly about ourselves. This negative self image might even trickle out to our friends and family who are trying to be supportive of us during the process.
 
Not only does living life believing that change is impossible affect our moods and thoughts, we start to fall into the trap of listening to the hesitations in our brain. We tend to stop doing the behavior change and “prove” to ourselves that it doesn’t work and we might as well have not even started it in the first place.
 
Many people will set New Year’s Resolutions. How many times have you set a New Year’s resolution? How many times have you stuck with it through the entire year? Many people will set a goal for themselves that they will lose weight, or go to the gym, or eat healthy. It sounds great. You even set a plan up so you will continue this goal. You talk to friends and family to get the accountability to continue.
 
At the time it felt great. You felt strong and empowered. You thought you could take on the world. You are going to be a new person and it will start with you getting up early and taking a walk first thing in the morning. Then packing a healthy lunch.
 
All of this, just to have the alarm go off early and you moan, hit snooze, and roll over. What happened?! Or maybe you got up and went for the walk. You even did it for a week. But today you’re tired and decided not to get out of bed. This was the beginning of your not following through. Or maybe you did great until winter when you realized you didn’t want to go out when it is dark and cold. “I’ll start again in the spring.” Did you?
 
As you start losing motivation to get up and tackle your goals, your brain kicks in and tells you all the reasons you should go back to old behaviors. You feel this throughout your body. You feel the motivation slipping away, but don’t even care right now. You’d rather go back to old behaviors.
 
Eventually you wind up right back where you started. You didn’t meet your goal and you feel frustrated, annoyed, and hopeless that you will ever be able to meet this goal. After all, how many times have you tried and failed?
 
The truth is, you are completely normal. The truth is sticking with our plans and goals is very hard. The truth is, it is not impossible. The truth is you can find what you need to meet your goals. It’s ok to get frustrated and fed up at times along this journey.
 
I know that you are feeling hopeless and frustrated that you’ll be able to meet your goal(s) as you’ve tried so many times before with no success. However, if we can put four tips into play, we can hack the motivation issue and make the changes we want in our lives. When we learn these four tips, it is entirely possible to never fail a goal again.
 
Keep reading for Four tips to Maintain Motivation
 
FEELING LIKE YOU ARE ON A HAMSTER WHEEL WITH MEETING YOUR GOALS? TIRED OF NOT BEING ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH YOUR GOALS? FEELING FRUSTRATED AND HOPELESS ABOUT SETTING A GOAL?
 
The biggest downside to not overcoming your problem with motivation is the downward spiral it takes you on. You start to feel worse about yourself and negative thoughts and emotions about setting goals start to take over. At the very least, you find yourself repeating the same cycle with your goals each time you try.
 
Living this way is tiresome. We want to be able to meet our goals and when we continuously struggle with that goal, it becomes tedious and dull to try again. All of our past “failures” come back to us.
 
IMAGINE MEETING YOUR GOALS. IMAGINE MAINTAINING THE MOTIVATION TO CONTINUE TO PUSH FORWARD DESPITE OBSTACLES AND FEELING GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF
 
Have you ever met a goal? Do you remember that feeling of accomplishment? Do you remember your beaming face? The friends and family who were proud of you? Or maybe you didn’t have the supportive family and friends, and you just proved to yourself that you can do it; despite what others think or believe.
 
Although you struggle with maintaining motivation at this time, you have the potential to meet all of your goals in life. You have everything it takes to continue to push forward despite obstacles. When we choose to add four tips to our day, there is a possibility you will never lose motivation again.
 
You have the opportunity to make this change and see results in your own life. You have the ability to be who you want to be and how you want to be.
 
4 TIPS TO MAINTAIN MOTIVATION
 
Whereas it is true you may be feeling skeptical about this and hopeless that this will work for you, the truth is, it is possible for every one of us to always meet our goals. The key to achieving this is to be consistent with whatever it is that you do. Yes, that was the problem you were having with motivation – how to stay consistent.
 
However, staying consistent is not as hard as you may think. You just need to make a couple tweaks to what you are already doing and I know as much as you want to make these changes, these tweaks will not be too hard to do.
 
Take a look at these 4 tips to see how you can maintain motivation on your goals today
 
1. The first thing to tweak is your mindset about motivation. We tend to think that we will take action because we’re motivated to do so. And in some respects this is true. We get up to go to work (take action) because we’re motivated by the paycheck (motivation) or the consequence (consequences are very motivating)!
 
The reality is, this mindset is backwards. Action does not follow motivation…MOTIVATION FOLLOWS ACTION. Think about going to the gym. You don’t feel like it, yet you go anyway. You get there, do your routine, and by the end you’re walking out feeling pretty good and say “I’m coming back tomorrow.” Motivation to go to the gym happened because you went to the gym to begin with.
 
Nike has the best motto in the world “Just do it.” That is our first tweak. When you don’t feel like it, “just do it.” Stop hesitating, stop thinking about it, stop what you are doing and just do the first action. The rest will fall into place.
 
Now that you’re doing the action, it is helpful to stay mindful with that action. If you’re at the gym saying to yourself that you are exhausted and wish you never came to begin with, it’s not going to feel very good at the end. Just get lost in the activity you are doing in the moment.
 
2. The second tweak is to know yourself. When are you at your best? When are you most alert? When do you have the most energy to get stuff done? Some people are more morning people, some early afternoon, and some later evening is when they peak. Do you do better with small tasks or larger projects? Do you perform best when moving around or sitting still?
 
Knowing yourself also means knowing why you want to meet this goal. What big change will it bring for you? How will your life change if this goal is met?
 
Knowing yourself is something that may take time for you to really get a handle on. It by itself might be it’s own goal for awhile. But I promise you when you learn when and how you function best as well as your big result from this change, your motivation to continue to work towards it will be stronger.
 
3. Third is to schedule the change into your day. Don’t just say “I’ll do it today.” Schedule it. Put it as an appointment in your schedule. There is a lot of evidence showing how many more times something that is actually scheduled into our day gets done versus something that is just getting done at some point today.
 
Scheduling it into your day will also help you stay more accountable to it. There is always something better to do. This is a lesson I learned, and I still struggle to do what is in my schedule versus the something better at times. When it is scheduled, it is always there in the back of your mind, making you feel guilty that you’re not doing it until you do it. Well, it may not make you feel guilty, but it will still be there in your mind reminding you that you are not sticking to your goals.
 
4. The final tweak is to review your goal daily. What worked? What didn’t? How will you adjust what didn’t work tomorrow to make it more likely that you will do it tomorrow?
 
Reviewing your goal daily also helps to keep you accountable to your goal. When you take an honest look at your day and notice that you didn’t get done what you want to get done, but you did things that were more fun instead, there’s an accountability factor there.
 
When you schedule a session with Meg Young, LCSW, we work together to make each of these tweaks happen for you. We take a deep dive into you to find out what is holding you back and how to incorporate these tweaks to make your life go where you want it to go.
 
Maintaining motivation is not just for exercise and eating well. Maintaining motivation is for anything that you are doing. When you are working on getting out of fight/flight due to PTSD, the brain is on overdrive. I work with my clients to maintain the motivation to continue self-regulation and other techniques to turn off the fight/flight response so they decrease the symptoms of PTSD and gain back their lives, careers and families to where they want those parts of their lives to be.
 
Achieving your goals through maintaining motivation can be a positive experience. It does not have to be daunting and difficult. You absolutely can find the motivation and the mindset to make your life exactly how you want it to be. No matter what you have been through or are currently going through, you have what it takes to maintain the motivation to meet your goals.
 
Working with Meg Young, LCSW will help you achieve your goals faster than you thought possible. I specialize in first responders, medical professionals and court professionals, but I help many other adults with PTSD, depression, and anxiety meet their life goals.
 
I hope you choose strength and call me today to schedule an appointment at 941-462-4807. It does not matter how many times you have “failed” before. It only takes one time to succeed. This is your first success in a long line of successes yet to come in your life. You are not alone in this battle against motivation. Let’s work together to get it right this time so you have the frame work to do it on your own each and every time you have a goal in the future. Let’s do this together! Remember that motivation follows action. Take action and call me now. 941-462-4807.

Many people believe that PTSD is not real. That it is hyped up. Other people believe that it is real, but can be (and should be) controlled and if you don’t, then you are either weak or looking for attention.
 
When we believe these statements, it makes us feel worse. It makes us feel more isolated and more crazy. It makes us feel less human. When we feel this way, so many areas of our lives are impacted. We start to notice changes in many other areas of our lives.
 
The problem with this is PTSD and the stigma attached to it negatively play on each other. They come together and make the monster even bigger. They feed on each other making the situation worse.
 
Perhaps you noticed withdrawing more because being around crowds was making you anxious. However, the more you avoided going out, the lonelier you felt. The lonelier you felt the more irritable you became. The more irritable you became the less you wanted to hang out with people.
 
At the time you may not have noticed it until it became a much bigger issue. At the time you may have felt justified in not hanging out. Or you might have felt frustrated that nobody understood you.
Unfortunately, when we (or others) believe that we should be strong and be able to pull out of PTSD symptoms without trouble, it just isolates us more.
 
Eventually you find yourself feeling completely alone and unsure of yourself. You start to question whether you are strong. Whether these symptoms are just “in my head.” You start to question whether you are fit for the job you are doing (whether career, or family, or otherwise). You start to wonder if you are normal.
 
The truth is you are not crazy. Everything you are going through has a reason. It is completely normal to have emotional AND behavioral changes with PTSD. You are not alone and you are ok.
 
Although you are feeling unsure and questioning everything right now, I promise that you will not only understand PTSD better, but gain confidence that you can regain your old self again. When you learn just a few realities of what happens physiologically in the brain when you develop PTSD, you will start to see that your emotions and behaviors are actually NORMAL and you CAN change them. You are not doomed to a life of isolation and fear.
 
Keep reading to learn 4 big changes that the brain goes through when it develops PTSD
 
GUILT, SHAME, ARGUING, JUMPING AT EVERYTHING, SECOND GUESSING YOURSELF, ANXIETY
 
The biggest problem we have as a society is jumping to conclusions and not learning/educating ourselves. Sometimes this is out of fear – we don’t always want to know the truth, sometimes it is out of sheer ignorance – we just don’t know what we don’t know, and there are a variety of other reasons we jump to conclusions before hearing the truth.
 
Then, if we believed something for so long, changing that belief is incredibly hard. How long did it take before the world believed that the world was round? This concept took a very long time before it became fact and “normal.”
Living in ignorance can be a comfortable place because it is known. Whatever we hear first (and enough) we tend to believe. So changing that belief to the opposite is incredibly difficult and it takes time. It is important not to give up on yourself or on humanity’s ability to learn and grow.
 
UNDERSTANDING, ACCEPTANCE, GROWTH, SENSE OF PEACE, HOPE, STRENGTH
 
Although you struggle with all of the emotional and behavioral symptoms of PTSD, you have the potential to get your life back.
Your brain is very adaptable and you have the ability to live life according to your terms.
 
When we choose to educate ourselves about the four biggest changes that happen to the brain with PTSD, we are choosing to take action. To learn and to grow. We are ready to take the bull by the horns and take back our lives. This is because when understand something, it is much easier to take action on it. Unknowns are scary.
 
Learning what these changes in the brain are is only the first step, however. Then it is on you to do something about it. It is on you to take this knowledge and run with it. To gain power over it. To grow from it and get your brain to rewire itself – again.
 
HERE ARE THE 4 BIGGEST CHANGES THE BRAIN GOES THROUGH WHEN IT DEVELOPS PTSD
 
Yes it’s true you are frustrated and worried about PTSD and it’s effects on you and your life. But with education comes the ability to make change. Once we learn about something, we understand it better and can really take action. It is hard to take action when we don’t truly understand something.
 
Take a look at these 4 biggest changes to the brain when PTSD develops.
 
1. Cingulate Gyrus: The Cingulate Gyrus is responsible for processing emotion and regulating behavior. When someone develops PTSD, their Cingulate Gyrus is overactive. This causes an increase in feelings of guilt and worry. It causes one to second guess themselves, become more argumentative or oppositional, and become more prone to holding grudges.
 
Have you noticed any of these changes in yourself? Have you wondered why you are holding grudges when you never had before? Do you berate yourself because you never second guessed yourself before?
 
When the Cingulate Gyrus is overactive, it is unable to effectively help you process emotion or regulate behavior. Thus your emotions and behaviors are more uncontrolled.
 
2. Cerebellum: The Cerebellum is responsible for movement and balance. When someone develops PTSD, the Cerebellum is also overactive. This is where your increased startle response comes from. When the brain detects something potentially dangerous, the Cerebellum activates the muscle movement or jumpiness that happens.
 
When the Cerebellum is overactive, we do not have control over the physiological response that happens from our startle response. We need to help the Cerebellum settle down so it is not overactive causing an increased amount of motor movement.
 
3. Basal Ganglia: The Basal Ganglia are a bunch of neurons responsible for processing movement related information. For example when you need to lift your foot to go up a stair, the brain takes in that there is a step there. The basal ganglia talk to the leg muscles telling it to move in a certain way allowing you to go up the stair. They also process information related to emotions, motivations, and cognitive functions. When the basal ganglia is over reactive, we experience more panic and anxiety symptoms.
 
4. Amygdala: The amygdala is associated with our automatic responses. The amygdala is a storage facility for our experiences and an alarm system. When we experience something bad (for example putting a hand on a hot stove), the amygdala takes in this experience as bad. Next time we see a hot stove, we remember it, and don’t touch it. When something very bad happens, our amygdala knows this as potentially life threatening and prepares us for survival by setting off the alarm through sending cortisol (or adrenalin) into the body, giving us the energy we need to fight or run.
 
When we have PTSD, the amygdala is basically a broken alarm system. You turn it off by telling yourself you are safe, but low and behold it goes off again…and again…even when we are not in danger.
 
All four of these structures are located in the Limbic System of the brain and work together. When there is a potentially threatening situation, all four systems work together to do the best it can to keep the body alive. It is a very complicated and intricate process. It is actually a very cool process when you think of it from a purely scientific point of view. However, it is not that cool when you have PTSD and all these systems are overactive in you.
 
When someone has PTSD, you can actually see these systems in hyperdrive on a SPECT scan. You can actually see the changes in the brain as activity “lights up” on a SPECT scan. You can actually see all of the overactive parts of the brain in someone with PTSD versus someone without PTSD.
 
Education is only the first part of your journey through healing from PTSD. Knowledge is power. With this power comes the ability to change. When we can actually see something, it makes it more real to us. When we are able to see proof that there is a reality to what is happening, it makes us feel less crazy and more normal.
 
Achieving resolution from PTSD will take time. The brain is set to survival. It does not want to let the guard down because it is concerned for your survival. If the guard is down, you are less likely to see danger coming and be able to respond quickly to it.
 
The crazy part about this is we actually respond better to non-dangerous situations when we are calm and not in fight/flight. The experiences that our amygdala stores include experiences we’ve been through personally, things we’ve seen in movies, on TV, in the news, from friends, from co-workers. All of these are still “experiences” and the amygdala stores them.
 
When the alarm is broken, it doesn’t realize that you are not truly in danger. When we’re not truly in danger but the alarm goes off, we respond as if we are anyway. We do not have control over the automatic responses.
 
However, with time and therapy, we are actually able to re-wire our brain so that we no longer respond as if we’re in danger when we are not. The brain is very adaptable and can heal so that you keep what you need from experiences, but get rid of the baggage that PTSD brings with it.
 
Achieving this re-wiring can be a long, but very rewarding journey. You absolutely can get your life, happiness, peace, and sense of control, back while accepting and growing from your experiences.
 
Meg Young, LCSW specializes in re-wiring the brain, helping it re-adapt to a more effective level of functioning allowing you to live the life you desire and dream of. It is time to take back control of your automatic responses, take control of your brain, and fix the alarm so that you can live the productive and happy life you so crave.
 
The first call is the hardest part of this process. After that, you and I will work together to help you find the strength to grow and move through this to a place of safety and peace. Call me today to schedule that first appointment. Choose strength today and make that call. 941-462-4807.

Being a probation or parole officer is a thankless job. The clients you work with are not the most upstanding citizens in the country and often it feels like you are chasing your tail trying to keep up with all of them. Add to that the stress of the paperwork and management within your company, and it can lead to burnout, frustration, and displeasure very quickly.
 
When we have a job that includes a cohesive unit, burnout is still a real possibility. The job takes a huge toll on us. However, when our unit is not cohesive, it compounds the stress of the job, affecting our lives in numerous ways. We start to dislike going to work, we start to feel more apathetic about our job, we start to be more irritable with our clients. We start to bring the work home and our families start to feel the stress. We start to notice it in our bodies with increased ailments, more sick days (even when we really aren’t sick; just need a day away).
 
The problems with burnout include what happens to us physically and in our relationships, but it also causes a great deal of emotional stress. We start to feel more jaded about our job. We become more sarcastic or insensitive. We feel all of this in our body as well as our body holds a great deal of stress. We are more tired, have less energy, appetite changes, more body aches, more stomach aches and headaches.
 
Not only does living this way affect us, but it affects our loved ones. Just like you are harboring the stress of your job, your loved ones are harboring your stress. You might see changes in your kid’s behavior. You might hear your spouse tell you things have changed. Your spouse might even be more irritable with you.
 
A recently closed client of mine, “Peter,” came to me because his wife said if he doesn’t seek help, she will take the kids and leave. At the time he felt very misunderstood. “Doesn’t she understand what I am going through? Doesn’t she get that my job is miserable but I stay because we need the income?” Unfortunately, all this did for him was make the rift between them worse. As he was not hearing her and looking at how the stress was impacting their relationship and their kids, she was feeling more and more distant from him.
 
Eventually, Peter decided to come to therapy. Although at the time he started with me he did not think there was anything wrong with him, he still came weekly. He felt awkward and unsure coming into a therapist’s office. After a few visits, we transitioned to online counseling (read more about online therapy in this blog). Which helped him feel more comfortable and in control thus we were able to do some very good work together.
 
The truth is, it is completely normal for probation and parole officers to feel stressed about their job. Many struggle with admitting there is a problem until it is too late. Many have their families tell them seek help or else. Even if you haven’t gotten to this place yet, you are reading this blog because you think “maybe” there is something going on that you need some help with.
 
Peter denied there was a problem for a long time. Even when he first started coming to me he blamed it all on work and didn’t look at his own behaviors, words, and emotional states. At this point you may not be sure if you need therapy either. You may not be sure that there truly is a problem. However, when we see others overcome something similar, it can inspire us to make the changes we need to achieve satisfaction, peace, and joy in life and in your career. When we take similar steps, it is entirely possible to bring back the feelings of satisfaction and pride in the work you do.
 
Keep reading to see how one parole officer increased his pleasure in his life and career today.
 
PETER WAS FEELING OUT OF SYNC, UNCOMFORTABLE AND STRESSED OUT
 
Before scheduling his first session, Peter’s life was completely out of sync. He was feeling misunderstood and unsupported. He didn’t think there was anything wrong with his behaviors; after all, they were justified as he was so stressed out. Wouldn’t anyone feel and act like him in this situation?
 
He often found himself feeling irritable – at himself, at his co-workers, at his boss, just thinking of going to work, and more often getting irritable at his wife and even his children. He continued to put the blame elsewhere, which is something many of us do. It is very hard to see that whereas xyz is going on, we don’t have to act in a way that pushes others away. Often we don’t even see ourselves pushing others away. Once it starts, we often feel defensive as it is the issue of work, not issue of my behavior.
 
Living with this irritability impacted Peter’s ability to enjoy his time away from work with his family. He was more and more disgruntled and thus struggled to let it go more and more. The worse it got, the less he enjoyed his “free time.” The less he enjoyed his free time, the more his wife saw his attitude change. This started a very difficult hole for Peter to get out of.
 
Peter said that his wife had always been very supportive of him. So when she started complaining about his attitude and behavior shift, he felt very hurt. His relationship was no longer the solid foundation that helped him through his stress. He believed he couldn’t go to her anymore for support.
 
As he decided he couldn’t get support from her, his other relationships started to deteriorate. He stopped hanging out with his friends – who wants to hang around with someone who complains anyway? He didn’t enjoy his time with them anymore anyway.
 
As noted above, right before he scheduled a session, Peter’s wife gave him an ultimatum…either get help, or she is leaving with the kids. Peter felt so betrayed by this. First his job was super stressful, then his supportive wife was becoming less supportive of him, then he stopped enjoying things and people so much – his life was spiraling down – and now his wife is threatening to leave?
 
After stewing on his anger for a short while, Peter made the call. His life was in shambles, and all because of a job and a situation he has no control over. But he knew that this was the only way to make his wife stay.
 
When Peter arrived to the first session, he expressed his annoyance over the whole situation and how unfair it felt to him. While we completed the assessment, getting to know his needs and what brought him to me, we explored a timeline of what happened including things he had control over and things he didn’t have control over.
 
By the time he left that session, he still did not feel convinced that therapy would help him, but was open to coming back for a second session. He was intrigued enough with what he heard and learned in that session that curiosity opened him up for another session.
 
As we continued therapy, Peter knew he needed help with letting stress go on a very regular basis as it built up in him so quickly every day. We created a treatment plan to address stress management techniques. We did a lot of educational work to help Peter understand the stress response in the body and normalize his feelings and even his behaviors.
 
By the time Peter left that session he felt eager to come back again. What he was going through was normal and could even be expected if stress isn’t handled effectively regularly. He was not alone in this and was not crazy. He had a plan to get his family and even his life back, even if he didn’t have control over everything in his life.
 
PETER IS REJUVINATED, MOTIVATED, AND HAS A NEW LEASE ON LIFE
 
When Peter and I sat down to work together, we would spend a few minutes going over any questions or concerns that came up between sessions. I always gave him time during the session to vent his frustrations as he needed an outlet for it.
 
We identified several techniques that will help with stress management, the barriers to using them, and the ways to overcome those barriers. We did a lot of education on stress and stress management because like most people, Peter did not understand the role of the stress response and how to turn it off.
 
Peter attended weekly and started to feel more and more human. He started to get excited to come to therapy and teach his wife the skills he was learning. He found that by including her in his practice by telling her what he learned as well as why and how the skills work, it kept him more accountable to doing the skills on a very regular basis.
 
Peter said he knew things were getting better because his wife was talking to him more and not complaining as much. He didn’t yet see a difference in his behaviors, but often others see things in us before we do. Furthermore, the skills he was using were shown to be effective in calming the stress response, which means his reactions will be different as he will not be as stressed out.
 
When I practice with clients like Peter, I like to use a mix of modalities. EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) is an amazing technique to help reprocess old memories so they do not affect you today. However, some people have to be convinced of this because it is seems a little silly. It works amazingly and even Peter was astounded at the effects!
 
I also like to use a lot of education with people like Peter as there is a lot of misunderstanding and mis-expectations on both the stress response and the effects of the skills to reduce the stress response.
 
I use a great deal of homework at the beginning as a metaphor I use frequently is “if you practice baseball one hour per week you’ll get better (like therapy), but if you practice baseball 6 hours per day, 7 days per week, you get better much quicker.” Use the skills 200 times per day…Yes, 200.
 
After a few weeks of therapy, it was obvious Peter was starting to feel better. We transitioned to online therapy as that worked very well for him within his schedule. The cool thing about the online work with Peter is because he was at home, he felt even more comfortable and thus made progress even quicker!
 
Peter started seeing improvement in his attitude at work as well as noticing that he would agree to get togethers with friends again. He saw his relationship strengthen with his wife as she started practicing the skills with him daily! They even brought the kids in on the use of skills daily and it became part of their evening routine!
 
Peter knew he was ready to end therapy because he no longer had time for me. He was so engaged in his world and his life that he felt almost put out that he had to come (online did make it easier for him to show up)! Each of those last few sessions, Peter was excited to tell me about how things were going, but at the same time said he had nothing he needed help with this week and wanted to get back to what he was doing.
 
We did a last session to address ways to stay on the sidewalk – my other favorite metaphor is “when we change a behavior, it is like walking on the curb. It is very easy to fall off and takes a lot of effort to pay attention to staying on the curb. After some time, we move away from the curb, but can still see the road. If we don’t pay attention to where we’re walking, we drift and end up off the sidewalk in the road.” We have to always pay attention to ourselves. It is very easy to fall back into old behaviors (or new unhelpful ones).
 
Our final session was ensuring Peter felt comfortable noticing when he was drifting towards the curb so he could bring himself back to walking a healthy line on the sidewalk and maintain his passion for his life, job, and family.
 
I KNOW YOU ARE READY TO FEEL THIS SAME PASSION AND ENERGY FOR LIFE AGAIN. PETER’S STORY IS ONLY ONE OF MANY OF MY CLIENTS WHO HAVE BROUGHT THEMSELVES BACK FROM BURNOUT AND STRESS RELATED PROBLEMS
 
Although you struggle with anxiety and feeling like you are in a dark pit, you have the potential to feel good about yourself again. Now that you have seen what is possible for Peter and other clients I work with, you know you are not alone in this struggle. There is a possibility for you to also have no time for therapy because you are enjoying life.
 
You have the opportunity to grab life by the horns and pull yourself up. Be the person you know you are and want to get back.
 
Achieving this passion and excitement for life and your career after the stress response has been activated for so long may feel like a long shot right now, but it is easier and closer than you think. You absolutely can find the enthusiasm for life. Meg Young, LCSW helps people just like you, and specializes in our critical care givers – first responders (including 911 dispatchers), medical professionals (including therapists), and court professionals (including probation/parole and corrections officers).
 
Choose strength and call me today to get started on your journey back to a stimulating life and career! 941-462-4807.