Being able to think about several things at once is a good thing, right? To be able to remember and think about all of the different times you’ve seen this scenario before will give you plenty of ideas of how to handle this specific scenario…or, more likely, it will give you more anxiety. Being able to think about getting to your kid’s basketball game after work while trying to finish that report will help keep it at the forefront of your mind so you make sure you leave on time…or, more likely you won’t be as productive and actually won’t get out on time.
 
The reality is when we live life with a million intrusive thoughts all day, we are less productive and less happy than when we are focused on what we are doing in the moment. It affects our ability to finish work on time, affects how well we do our work, affects our ability to separate this situation from others, thus making more mistakes, affects our relationships as we’re more focused internally than with our families, and affects our ability to feel less stressed when we make healthy choices like exercise.
 
The downsides to the intrusive thoughts outlined above include increased stress, more irritability, less patience, less sleep, weight gain, headaches, relationship difficulties, and more. All of these symptoms due to intrusive memories make living a fulfilling life even more difficult.
 
Not only do these intrusive thoughts make living a fulfilling life more difficult, we start to notice in ourselves emotions and behaviors we never thought we would have. After all, we are strong, independent, and know how to handle every stressful think life throws at us.
 
Perhaps you didn’t recognize it until it overtook every aspect of your life. Perhaps you ignored the early warning signs that looking back you now see with full clarity. Hindsight is 20/20!
 
At the time you might have had a million excuses – being overtired, a specific incident at work, a coworker you can’t get away from, other responsibilities becoming overwhelming. It might have felt stressful, but you could rationalize it.
Unfortunately, as you ignored it long enough, it finally became too much and now it’s impacting not only your life, but your loved one’s lives as well, causing so much frustration.
 
If you haven’t already, one thing I know for sure is if you don’t get ahold of the intrusive thoughts, you’ll wind up in an even deeper hole. You see where this has come already. It can continue to get worse. You could end up feeling completely crazy and unsure of yourself.
 
But you are not alone. Many people struggle with the effects of long term intrusive thoughts wreaking havoc on their lives. It’s ok to admit you struggle with this and that it has taken control of your life. It’s the first step to getting your life back.
It is true that these intrusive thoughts cause you to feel crazy and out of control. However, if we can learn just three tips to calm these thoughts, we can find peace and control again. When we make a few changes in our lives, the results will be unbeatable. It is entirely possible to make the thoughts decrease significantly.
 
Keep reading for my three tips so you can start feeling more in control today
 
This downward spiral will continue to take control if you don’t
 
The biggest problem to these intrusive thoughts is the impact it has on your ability to be yourself and do what you do so well everyday. It impacts every aspect of your life from work to relationships to home to leisure to sleep to health.
 
At the very least you find yourself struggling with an internal war. You start to second guess yourself as a million other ways to handle this situation come through your head. Then all the times your solutions didn’t work start coming up. Then your mind is off and running and you can’t concentrate on what you’re doing anymore.
 
Living this way feels extremely defeating. You think you can’t do anything the way you used to. You once chalked it up to becoming jaded, but that excuse just doesn’t seem to be cutting it anymore.
 
Gain control of your thoughts, gain control of your life
 
Although you struggle with intrusive thoughts causing feelings of frustration and hopelessness, you have the potential to let go of those thoughts – to take control of them.
 
When we chose to take control of the thoughts instead of letting them control us, there is a possibility for feeling confident, hopeful, strong, and competent. You have the opportunity to take control of your thoughts and regain that feeling of strength.
 
3 Tips to Achieve Control Over Intrusive Thoughts
 
Yes, you may be feeling skeptical, hopeless, and frustrated, but the key to achieving freedom from these thoughts is to take your control back. To not let the thoughts have control over you any longer. To show the thoughts who’s boss.
 
Making these changes is not as hard as you think because you are full of control and strength. You show it everyday in your work. We have to redirect some of that power back to yourself.
 
Take a look at these three tips to see how you can obtain freedom and control over your own thoughts. Think just how good it will feel to have control over you again. To feel in control. To feel happy. To enjoy life.
 
Take a look at these three tips to see how you can achieve the life you want
 
Concern #1: The thoughts won’t stop
One of the reasons you struggle with intrusive thoughts is because the mind ping pongs around different memories and thoughts as a way to remind you of past lessons so you do it “right” this time. It makes sense you’re feeling tired of this. The mind cannot bring positive thoughts and memories to the surface; just the unpleasant ones. This is so you will remember past mistakes and not repeat them – both your mistakes and other people’s mistakes. It is a primitive survival mechanism of the brain.
 
Solution #1: Stop technique
You need to interrupt the thought process. Stop the game of ping pong before you can do anything else. Next time you notice the racing thoughts, very abruptly tell yourself “stop” while either visualizing a stop sign or clapping your hands. What happens when you do this to a young child or a pet? They immediately stop and look at you.
 
With Meg Young, LCSW, we practice this technique in session to understand the feeling, notice the effects, identify what may make it not work (including your own thoughts), and solutions that will get you around these pitfalls before they become pitfalls.
When you do this, you may feel a bit silly at first. That’s ok. If you notice feeling silly, for that one second, your intrusive thoughts stopped! You may notice your family or pet’s reactions as well. Take note of these reactions. Who responded and how? Even if your family is aware you’ll be doing this (and you should tell them), they won’t necessarily be expecting it, so you’ll see their reactions.
 
Concern #2: I can’t let it go
Your brain is “set” to survival. It makes sense you can’t stop thinking about something as your brain tries to find all the possible lessons it can from the experience(s) you have. The survival part of your brain doesn’t distinguish between your pain and someone else’s pain. Nor does it distinguish between real and not real (as in television). The survival part of your brain cares about one thing: keep all the lessons up front so you will survive.
 
Solution #2: Distraction
This technique goes with the first one. Once you interrupt the thought process, you have to help your brain realize you are not in danger. To do this you have to continue to interrupt the process. (This may take a long time depending on several factors). Distraction is key to gaining control of your thoughts. The process is simple, but not easy to implement. You tell yourself “Nope, I’m not thinking of that, I’m doing this.”
 
Together with my clients I help them identify which distraction techniques would work best for them, help them develop a plan to use distraction, and help them understand with “survival” being turned on in their brain, all the reasons you shouldn’t do distraction will come up. Of course it will! If you’re distracted, you won’t be able to see the danger, won’t be prepared, and will die. There is truth in this…if you are in danger. But when it’s just your own thoughts, there is no true danger and distraction is not only ok, but desirable.
 
At first when you start doing distraction, you will still struggle with the intrusive thoughts, but you will soon start to see during the times you are distracted, you are actually feeling ok. Maybe not fully yourself yet, but you’re start to feel the hope return.
 
Concern #3: These thoughts keep interrupting my family/leisure time
Whereas we can multitask and think of more than one thing at a time, we cannot have two complete thoughts at once. It’s more like one thought and one vague idea, which you then focus on making that a complete thought. It makes sense these thoughts interrupt your fun time. Your brain, being set to survival wants those thoughts to take front stage, even when you don’t. Do you struggle to make distraction a full thought.
 
Solution #3: Focus
All three of these tips need to be used together. First you have to interrupt the process, then you distract to get your brain our of survival mode, but since it wants to stay there, it will make distraction difficult. Therefore, focus is the last aspect of this plan. Focus means no matter what comes to mind, bring it back to the task at hand. Just like at work, sometimes you have to shut everything else off and deal with what’s in front of you, same goes for your leisure time. Shut everything else off. Notice what you’re doing with all of your senses. Notice your body – what’s tight? Loosen those muscles. What are other people doing? How do they look? How do they appear to be feeling? Then get back to you in the situation. Just be there in the situation.
 
When you schedule a session with Meg Young, LCSW, you will learn tips to make focusing easier. You will learn and practice skills related to focus and will get the encouragement and direction you need to make it work for you.
 
Adding these things to your life will make it possible to live a happy, fulfilled life. You will feel more confident and in control. You will gain your family time back and not lose out on the full experiences with family and friends.
 
Achieving control over your thoughts can be excited and freeing. It can give you what you’ve been missing out on. You absolutely can enjoy life and Meg Young, LCSW can help as my practice specializes in first responders, medical professionals, and court professionals – all of whom deal with other’s struggles daily. The survival part of your brain does not distinguish between other people’s struggles and your own. We can all end up on this path of intrusive thoughts. But with the right tools, we can just as easily avoid this road and maintain the fulfilling lives we want.
 
Call me today to schedule an appointment and choose strength!

First responders seem to be among the worst at self-care including getting restful sleep. We may or may not know what we should be doing and we likely don’t know why it is helpful.

Unfortunately, when we live life without proper self-care including getting restful sleep, it affects our day and actually affects how well we do our jobs. When we aren’t getting restorative rest, we feel it emotionally, physically and mentally.
Some of the adverse effects include increased irritability and decreased patience with our loved ones causing more spats or fights. Perhaps your spouse has told you that you have been more irritable lately. At the time, it may have felt even more annoying to hear that. We may even know that we are more irritable and less patient because of lack of sleep, but it isn’t enough to put ourselves first and make sure we are getting the sleep we need.

Not only does not getting enough sleep cause problems in our personal relationships, we then start to notice the lack of patience at work. We may start to become sarcastic about the calls we go on, or start to do things that we know better not to do in order to act or “prove” we are strong (such as going on a call by ourselves when we know we should be bringing someone with us).

Can you relate with John, a police officer in downtown Sarasota? He has been a police officer for 15 years. At first it was wonderful. He really enjoyed what he did and felt like he was good at his job. Over time, he started going to the gym more and longer trying to “decompress” from his day. He became quieter at home and wasn’t as playful with his kids. He didn’t feel right, but couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong. His spouse mentioned it to him, but he just blew it off as “work is stressful.” Well, he knew that was true. But it was far more than that. He couldn’t get pictures of calls out of his head. He superimposed his own child into some of the calls. He worried every time someone he cared about was out.

Eventually, John (and all first responders like him), end up in a place of complete frustration and loss of control. It is a downward spiral that intensifies each day we do not take good care and get restful sleep. It becomes a monster that started out small, but can ruin our lives and careers. We may make “silly” mistakes at work, but those mistakes can cost us lives.

The truth is, it is completely normal for police officers, firefighters, EMTs, 911 dispatchers, and other first responders to struggle with sleep. We see and hear a lot of very painful things throughout the day. We hold people’s pain when they are at their worst and our brains may not be able to just let some of it go. We are human and will feel the effects of what we see and do every day.

It’s very true that our work affects us and it can be hard to turn the thoughts off and get restful sleep. However, if we can learn a few tips and tricks to getting restful sleep, we can head off the dangerous path we’re on and obtain a fulfilling life and career. When we implement just a few strategies into our daily lives, it is entirely possible to let the stress of the day go and get the sleep we need. Keep reading for three tips so you can start sleeping better tonight.

Loss of relationships, careers, and even suicidal thoughts and actions…these are common end points to lack of good sleep

The biggest downside to not getting the sleep you need is your life will end up where you don’t want it. Maybe you’ll end up divorced due to the increasing fights. Maybe you’ll end up sick more often. Maybe you’ll end up feeling so out of control that you attempt suicide. We need you to stay healthy and engaged with your passion!

At the very least, however, with lack of sleep, you’ll find yourself tired and unhappy throughout the day. It is a lot of mental energy to stay happy when you are feeling so out of control and not getting enough sleep.

Living without enough sleep is extremely frustrating. I know you want to sleep well. The racing thoughts, the inability to turn your brain off, the constant thinking, the restlessness, the frequent awakening and early morning awakening. It is not how you want to be each night.

Living the relaxed, peaceful life you want by sleeping through the night

Although you struggle with fatigue, irritability, and feeling “blah”, you have the potential to get your spark back. You can bring yourself back from this feeling of not being in control and get the sleep you need each night to feel rested and ready to do the great work you do. You do not have to live this way anymore.
When we choose to take control back through improved self-care and sleep, there is a possibility for living life on our terms. Enjoying our work, friends, and family. Enjoying life.

You have the opportunity to improve the quality of your life and see the life you expected and wanted to live. You have the ability to regain control of yourself, your work, and your life. What is it worth to you to get your spark back? What is your family worth to you? What is your career worth to you? What are you worth to you?

3 tips to achieve restful sleep

I know you may be feeling frustrated and tired, but regaining control of your life is so important. You do great work every day. We need you to continue to provide the care you do every day. It is very hard to do the work you do, and even harder without proper sleep.

The key to achieving restful sleep is to turn your brain off at night. The key is to get your brain to stop processing your daily experiences before and during the nighttime hours.

Making these changes is not as difficult as you think because the brain wants to be relaxed. The brain does a lot of healing and recuperating when we are asleep. When we implement a few of these techniques, the brain will start to recover.
Take a look at these 3 tips to see how you can achieve a restful night’s sleep

I can’t settle down at night

One of the reasons you struggle with lack of sleep is because of the accumulation of stress day after day. Most of us can handle one stressful experience, but as a firefighter, these stressful experiences happen every day…sometimes more than once per day.

It makes complete sense that you’re feeling frustrated that you cannot settle down. You’ve accumulated so much stress. This did not happen over night. This lack of sleep happened due to the accumulation of your experiences day after day after month after year until you are where you are now.

The Solution:

Start with one small change. Don’t expect it to have extreme changes overnight. Don’t give up. You didn’t get into lack of sleep over night, and you will not sleep perfectly just because you try something for a day or a week, or even a month. Every day you do the techniques, you still have more experiences the following day. It will take time for your brain to re-adjust to the new sleep hygiene pattern you are using.
Working with me, you will find the motivation and accountability that you need to not give up on using one small technique to begin with…then pull in more techniques over time to really feel the effects. Just like working with a personal trainer to improve your fitness, I will hold you accountable and stretch your limits just a bit, helping you reach your goals in as little time as possible.

When you stay accountable and continue to use the techniques despite them not working the first day, you will notice that when you forget to do it, there actually is a difference. Something just feels off. You will also start to notice a renewed sense of mastery as you successfully challenge yourself and stay focused on your goal.

Pete had been an EMT for 5 years when he came to me. He was already at his wits end and not sure what to do to sleep anymore. He was getting only a couple hours’ sleep each night because he was afraid to go to sleep. He didn’t want the nightmares to start. He would do anything in his power to actually not sleep. However, he getting sick more frequently. Together, Pete and I identified some of the negative beliefs that were holding him back from sleeping, turned them around, and found ways to stay accountable to both the thought process and sleep schedule he set for himself.

Does this relaxation crap really work?

Our brains are set to help us survive. Not only that, but are brains are muscle. You’ve heard of muscle memory, right? Our brains take in all of our daily experiences, but it doesn’t always know what is “real” and what is “perceived.” The reason we jump to a scary movie is the brain doesn’t realize immediately that YOU are not going through that experience. This immediate reaction is caused by the Amygdala. The same thing happens when we get a call into the 911 dispatch line. The Amygdala doesn’t realize that what is happening is THEIR story, not YOUR story. So, the brain tries to make sense of it. It also stores that “memory” so you can stay safe from something like that in the future. Day after day, we hear very difficult situations and the brain, doing what it is supposed to, attempts to make sense of and store those situations in a way that will keep you safe. The brain, as a muscle, is being used the same way day after day, strengthening it. Strengthening the need to keep you safe from danger.

Thinking of it this way, it only makes sense that you aren’t necessarily 100% convinced that the techniques work. You’ve heard of them, but wonder if they will work for you.

The solution:

These techniques absolutely work. Look at the research that is out there on neuroplasticity (the brain’s ability to bounce back). Read about the effects of mindfulness, meditation, and relaxation in Eastern Cultures. There’s a reason these techniques have been around so long. Take a look at your own thought patterns. What are you saying to yourself about these techniques?

Together with my clients, I help them find the belief in the techniques and in themselves that they can get restful sleep; that it is possible through use of mindfulness, meditation, and relaxation, to fall into a deep sleep and wake refreshed the next day.

After you start identifying some of your negative beliefs as well as the challenging thought to those negative beliefs, you will have a renewed sense of hope moving forward. Thoughts are powerful. I love the quote by Susan Taylor: “Thoughts have power. Thoughts are energy. You can make your world or break your world by your own thinking.” Change your thoughts, you can change your world.

Which technique would you recommend first?

One of the problems is there are so many techniques that it can feel overwhelming. They all work, but does one work better than another? Does one work better for a certain issue related to sleep than another? The amount of information out there can seem very overwhelming.

It makes sense that you aren’t sure where to start and are feeling overwhelmed and maybe frustrated or hopeless. When you get to the point of exhaustion, being able to make decisions becomes harder. And because there are so many options to try, which one should you do to get the best results seems like a huge decision. You want to sleep now.

The solution:

Instead of beating your head against a wall trying to decide what to do, start by creating a night-time/bedtime routine to ease you into the evening. If you need to let out stress, no less than a few hours before bedtime, do some exercise (this could be stretching only). Breathe deeply as you are doing this. Focus on the exercise and breath. Focus on what it feels like to exercise. Only do what you are capable of doing though; do not hurt yourself. Do you just want to relax? How about having some chamomile tea? Have a glass of that, sipping it slowly while you read or listen to relaxing music. Don’t worry about whatever is going through your head. Just focus on the tea and music (or book). Let the thoughts go and be mindful about the tea. What temperature is it? What does it taste like? How strong is it? What does it smell like? What does it feel like in your mouth? As it goes down your throat? Once you get into bed, do you need complete silence? Maybe you listen to a half hour yoga nidra before turning all electronics off. Some people like to watch something light-hearted as it will act like a bedtime story, allowing them to focus on that and not their thoughts. One important thing, don’t focus on you not sleeping. The more you focus on not sleeping, the harder it will be to fall asleep.

There are several great youtube videos that could help with relaxation and sleep. There are also great apps for the phone. Personally, I really like insight timer. It has many meditations – guided and music only. There are lengths from five minutes to over and hour. There are options for spiritual and non-spiritual.

When you schedule a session with Meg Berry, LCSW, we will together help you create the routine that works best for you. We will iron out how to make it work for you and identify and getting rid of any barriers to setting it up and using it.

Adding a night-time/bedtime routine to your life will make it possible for you to get the sleep you need each night, thus allowing you to wake feeling refreshed and ready for the day. It will help you get your spark back and be the first responder I know you are.

What’s next?

Although retraining your brain’s muscle in order to allow you restful sleep can take time, the result can be both empowering and uplifting. You absolutely can wake up refreshed and excited to help people again the way you did when you came into the field. With your background, and a little nudge from Meg Berry, LCSW, you will have yourself back in as little time as possible.

Schedule a session with me today.

Going into a therapist’s office is the best way to achieve the life you want, right? Wrong! The truth is online therapy there is a lot of research on telemental health. See much of the compiled information on the telemental health institute website as in person therapy and sometimes produces even better results. Change is a difficult concept and the transition to believing that online therapy is ethical, appropriate and effective will take time for the world to adjust to.

Unfortunately, when we live life believing seeing a therapist in their office is the only way to obtain good counseling services, we limit ourselves to who is around, not who is best suited to help us. We may see several therapists, never finding the right fit. We may stay in therapy for years as the counselor – as good as they are – isn’t suited for our specific needs.

The downsides to settling for a therapist nearby are potentially going to therapy for years and not seeing the results we’re looking for, feeling hopeless, feeling discouraged, and giving up upon therapy as a useful tool. All the while, our lives continue to unravel around us; our relationships suffer, our careers suffer, our lives suffer.

Not only does living life believing the only way to get successful therapy is in person affect us through feeling discouraged and hopeless, we start to explain to people all the reasons therapy is pointless. We discourage others to go as “it isn’t helpful” and we don’t see another way out as therapy was the way out.

Perhaps you noticed that were you feeling stressed at work. You fought through it alone as long as you could, but it started seeping into your home life. You tried to enjoy being with family, but you just couldn’t stop thinking about everything you left undone today. You decided to go into the office early and stay late to get more done, but all this did was create more conflict at home and a lot was still left undone. Frustrated and fed up, you decided to see a counselor. You looked online and called four of them. You chose the first one who called you back. You went in and saw this therapist for awhile, but never really started feeling better. You looked the therapist up online and saw they work with people going through just about every issue known to man.

Eventually you wind up more frustrated and discouraged. One day you just stop going to therapy because “it wasn’t working.” The truth is, many therapists are very good at their jobs and can help just about everyone. The truth is you may get what you need with a therapist in person near you. I love doing in person therapy. The other side of the truth is your options for therapists are wider than you think because of online therapy. The truth is you do not have to settle for a therapist just because they are nearby. It is ok, and even a good idea, to widen your search to online therapy.

It’s true that many people will settle for a therapist nearby to them because the option for online therapy is either unknown or too weird at this time, thus those people may not get the best treatment for them. However, if we understand online therapy a little better by the reasons that will be outlined below, we can open our minds to it and thus get the help we are so desperately looking for. When we decide to see a counselor via teletherapy, it is entirely possibly to regain the life we desire in the shortest time possible. Keep reading for the top reasons online therapy will improve your life so you can make the right choice for you and feel better quickly.

Long-lasting sleeplessness, frustration, stress, and feeling out of control

The biggest downside of not finding the right therapist is the lengthy therapeutic process. Therapy can take years to regain control of your emotions and thoughts, but it can take even more time than is necessary if you don’t have the right therapist for you.

At the very least you do not find yourself feeling any better. You struggle with the same issues and concerns without feeling any relief. It starts to feel like an endless pit which is hopeless to get out of.

Living this way is extremely painful. The ongoing sleeplessness and frustration causes a ripple effect throughout our lives impacting not only us but our loved ones, friends, and career. It is a lonely existence as we may not think we have anyone who understands (or we just don’t want to bother anyone with our troubles). Even the therapist, who seems to be great at their job, isn’t able to get us better.

Imagine your life with restful sleep, enjoyment out of activities and family, and control of your emotions and thoughts

Although you struggle with feeling in control of yourself, you have the potential to get this imagined life. This life where you get good sleep, enjoy activities, friends and family, and are in control of your mind. You have the ability to live the life you have been missing out on.

When we chose to do online therapy, there is a possibility for faster results than in person therapy. You have a wider choice of therapists which means you can find the therapist who really understands you and gets you this life quickly and expertly. You have the opportunity to choose whether you want to see someone in person or online. It opens more doors for you.

Top reasons tele-therapy is a great choice to help you feel happier, fulfilled in your career, and enjoy time with your family.

You may be feeling frustrated and fed up with counseling in general. Or you may not have started looking for a therapist yet and are confused by all the people out there – who is best for you? The reality is there are more therapists at your disposal than you realize.

The key to achieving the goals you are looking for is to find the right therapist. Maybe the right therapist is in person in your community. But maybe the right therapist is in a different state than you are located. (An important thing to keep in mind is the therapist you see online must be licensed in the state in YOUR state).
Making the decision to see a therapist online is not as difficult as you may think. There are several credentialing agencies and it is a good choice to choose a therapist who has been credentialed to do online therapy. Many therapist directories including psychology today will show you therapists who say they do online therapy. There are therapist directories specifically for therapists who practice online such as https://www.onlinecounselling.com/

Take a look at these top reasons online therapy is a great choice

Logistical benefits of online therapy

Online therapy is still somewhat new to us. Although it has been around for a long time, it is just gaining momentum. Because it is unknown, people don’t know all of the logistical benefits and therefore would sometimes rather see a therapist in person as they know those benefits.

It makes sense that you would want to know what the benefits are. We tend to do something new either because we are forced to, or the benefits to that new thing are pleasant enough that they outweigh not doing the new thing.
Some of the biggest logistical benefits to teletherapy are:

– Transportation issues (you don’t have to worry about finding transportation if you are a one car family, don’t have a car, public transportation is unavailable, you don’t have the cash for transportation at the moment, etc)
– Childcare/eldercare issues (you don’t have to worry about finding someone to care for your children or parent who can’t or shouldn’t be left alone)
– Weather issues (snow piling up outside? You don’t have to miss your appointment)
– Convenience (you do not have to leave your house)
– The issue you are wanting the therapist to help with (maybe driving causes you so much anxiety, so you can’t even drive to the therapist’s office to get help. Counseling is still available to you)
– Illness (do you have a cold and just don’t want to risk getting others sick, but still want your appointment? Or maybe your therapist has a cold and doesn’t want to risk getting their clients sick, but you or the therapist are still well-enough to do counseling online)
– Confidentiality (You don’t have to be seen going in or out of a therapist’s office – especially some professions, such as law enforcement and military don’t want others to see them going into a therapist’s office)
– The right therapist (the therapist who specializes in what you need may actually be located in a different state; that no longer has to be a barrier to treatment)

These are only some of the logistical benefits you get from seeing a therapist online versus in person. The benefits go far beyond these logistical ones to emotional and life benefits as well. Together with my clients I help them identify whether or not online counseling is right for them and help them overcome their anxieties and fears about it so they can reach their goals in as little time as possible. Online counseling is not right for everyone. There are several reasons telemental health counseling may not be right for you specifically. My clients and I determine together whether to proceed online or in person. This blog is about the benefits of online therapy, but it does not mean that 100% of therapy should always be done online for everyone.
When you start online therapy with Meg Young, LCSW, LLC, you can fully understand the benefits of online therapy. You will start to see why it could become your desired way of having therapy sessions and may never return to in person sessions again.

Legality of teletherapy

As outlined above, one of the reasons you may struggle with finding a therapist online is because you don’t know enough about it. Teletherapy has been around for years, but is starting to gain strength for a variety of reasons. There are definitely considerations to seeing a therapist online and just like seeing any doctor at all, it is important to know the risks and benefits of what you are getting into.

It makes sense that you aren’t sure whether online counseling is legal. There has not been a lot of information about it until more recently. When something is new to us, it feels wrong and we are unsure about it. Think about when cell phones became a more common thing. I remember my first cell phone had 200 minutes per month. I basically got “for emergencies.” I had a phone; why do I need a phone that goes with me as a “second” phone? Now we can’t imagine life without cell phones!

Until we get used to the “new” thing, it feels wrong. Online mental health counseling is in fact legal in every state. Insurance companies are even starting to pay for it. The benefits to online counseling make it legal and ethical in every state. The one thing to look for in your online counselor is to make sure they are using a HIPAA compliant web platform for your sessions. It is a good idea to find a therapist who is also trained in online therapy.

Meg Young, LCSW, LLC was trained through the Telemental Health Institute and is credentialed as a Distance Counselor through the Center for Credentialing and Education. Meg uses a HIPAA compliant platform to see her clients and has seen some huge breakthroughs with her clients online.

Often clients feel more comfortable at home, and they are able to open up more because of this. Some clients who have never cried during in person sessions, cry during online sessions because they feel more secure at home than in an office setting. Furthermore, it can feel less intimidating online, so clients are more able to let their guard down and really get the help they need.

You have been fighting with the sleep problems, irritability, frustration, and feeling that you are suffering with this alone for long enough. You may have even seen a therapist to help you with this. Yet you are still struggling with feeling out of control of yourself, your emotions, and even your life. When you see a therapist online, you open up your options to seeing a therapist who specializes in what you are going through, even if they are in a different state than you. It offers you the opportunity to get your life back in a whole new way.

Finding the right therapist does not always happen immediately and you may need to see more than one before you find the right therapist. However, because your options are wider with online therapy, and there is so much information found on the internet, your search for the right therapist may not be as difficult as you think.

You absolutely can find the right therapist and get the support and encouragement you need to get yourself, your career, your family, and your life back to the way it was or even better than what it was.

Meg Young, LCSW, LLC can help you in either your therapeutic journey or helping you find a therapist who would be right for you. I know many great therapists across the country and even if I am not the right therapist for you or am not licensed in your state, I can probably find someone who is licensed in your state who would be a good fit for you.

Call me today to schedule your initial session.

We, as counselors, seem to be the worst at self-care including getting restful sleep. We know what we should be doing and we know why it is helpful. We also know that it works. Yet we do not always practice what we teach.

Unfortunately, when we live life without proper self-care including getting restful sleep, it affects our day and actually affects how well we do our jobs. When we aren’t getting restorative rest, we feel it emotionally, physically and mentally.
Some of the adverse effects include increased irritability and decreased patience with our loved ones causing more spats or fights. Perhaps your spouse has told you that you have been more angry lately. At the time, it may have felt even more annoying to hear that. We may even know that we are more irritable and less patient because of lack of sleep, but it isn’t enough to put ourselves first and make sure we are getting the sleep we need.

Not only does not getting enough sleep cause problems in our personal relationships, we then start to notice the lack of patience at work. A co-worker will say something and you snap at them, or a client will no show and you want to close their case due to lack of progress.

Can you relate with Jessica, a therapist in downtown Bradenton? She got up like she normally does on this Thursday. It had already been a long week for her. Her spouse was in the bathroom getting ready for work and didn’t say good morning right away. After showering and getting ready, she still hadn’t heard “good morning” from her spouse. She wasn’t thinking that she hadn’t said it yet, either…just that it wasn’t said to her. It was all she could think about at the moment. At breakfast, she finally said to her spouse, “why didn’t you say good morning?” As her spouse was not expecting this, and caught off guard, the response came more as a defensive answer, which set her off even more. Going to work unrested and already feeling like it has been a bad morning, Jessica starts her day. As you can imagine the rest of the day was very difficult for her. Jessica may not have been so finicky had she been taking better care of her own well-being regularly.

Eventually, Jessica (and all of us), end up in a place of complete frustration and burnout. It is a downward spiral that intensifies each day we do not take good care and get restful sleep. It becomes a monster that started out small, but can ruin our lives and careers. We may make “silly” mistakes at work, but those mistakes can cost us our licenses.

The truth is, it is completely normal for therapists and psychologists to struggle with sleep. We see a lot of stressful things throughout the day. We hold people’s pain and our brains may not be able to just let some of it go. We are human and will feel the effects of what we see and do every day.

It’s very true that our work affects us and it can be hard to turn the thoughts off and get restful sleep. However, if we can learn a few tips and tricks to getting restful sleep, we can head off the dangerous path we’re on and obtain a fulfilling life and career. When we implement just a few strategies into our daily lives, it is entirely possible to let the stress of the day go and get the sleep we need. Keep reading for three tips so you can start sleeping better tonight.

Burnout, compassion fatigue, apathy…these are common end points of not getting enough or restful sleep.

The biggest downside to not getting the sleep you need is your life will end up where you don’t want it. Maybe you’ll end up divorced due to the increasing fights. Maybe you’ll end up sick more often. Maybe you’ll end up burnt out and tired of helping others. We need you to stay healthy and engaged in this career field!
At the very least, however, with lack of sleep, you’ll find yourself tired and unhappy throughout the day. You’re a therapist. You help people get their happiness back. But if we are not taking care of ourselves, we will have a hard time getting our clients to live the lives they want to live. How can we tell them what to do to feel better if we don’t do it ourselves?

Living without enough sleep is extremely frustrating. I know you want to sleep well. The racing thoughts, the inability to turn your brain off, the constant thinking, the restlessness, the frequent awakening and early morning awakening. It is not how you want to be each night.

Living the relaxed, peaceful life you want by sleeping through the night
Although you struggle with fatigue and feeling “blah”, you have the potential to get your spark back. You can bring yourself back from burnout and get the sleep you need each night to feel rested and ready to do the great work you do. You do not have to live this way anymore.

When we choose to take control back through improved self-care and sleep, there is a possibility for living life on our terms. Living a relaxed, peaceful life. Enjoying our work, friends, and family. Enjoying life.

You have the opportunity to improve the quality of your life and see the life you expected and wanted to live. You have the ability to regain control of yourself, your work, and your life. What is it worth to you to get your spark back? What are your clients worth to you? What is your family worth to you? What are you worth to you?

3 tips to achieve restful sleep

I know you may be feeling frustrated and tired, but regaining control of your life is so important. You do great work with your clients, I’m sure of it. We need you to continue to provide the care you do to your clients every day. It is very hard to do the work you do, and even harder without proper sleep.

The key to achieving restful sleep is to turn your brain off at night. The key is to get your brain to stop processing your daily experiences before and during the nighttime hours.

Making these changes is not as difficult as you think because you teach them yourself! I do realize that sometimes those that teach cannot do and those that do cannot teach. However, you know just how important these techniques are and you know many different techniques. You also know how hard it is to implement. You are already miles in front of your clients because of what you know. Because of all you know, implementing these techniques is not as hard as you think. You know the tricks to implementing them.
Take a look at these 3 tips to see how you can achieve a restful night’s sleep

I’ve already tried everything!

One of the reasons you struggle with lack of sleep is because of the accumulation of stress day after day. Think back on when you were an intern. If you took away all of the homework, schoolwork, and the job that was putting you through graduate school, only focusing on the internship experience, what did the end of each day look like to you? You were probably excited to be doing this and whereas you may have had some stressful days, you woke up refreshed and ready to go the next day.

It makes complete sense that you’re feeling frustrated with the process. You’ve accumulated so much stress. This did not happen over night. This lack of sleep happened due to the accumulation of your experiences day after day after month after year until you are where you are now.

The Solution:

Don’t give up. You didn’t get into lack of sleep over night, and you will not sleep perfectly just because you try something for a day or a week, or even a month. Every day you do the techniques, you still have more experiences the following day. It will take time for your brain to re-adjust to the new sleep hygiene pattern you are using.
Working with me, you will find the motivation and accountability that you need to not give up on the techniques. Just like working with a personal trainer to improve your fitness, I will hold you accountable and stretch your limits just a bit, helping you reach your goals in as little time as possible.

When you stay accountable and continue to use the techniques despite them not working the first day, you will notice that when you forget to do it, there actually is a difference. Something just feels off. You will also start to notice a renewed sense of mastery as you successfully challenge yourself and stay focused on your goal.

Jackie had been a therapist for 5 years when she came to me. She was already burnt out from the amount of work that they expected her to do at her agency. She was not sleeping well and was feeling tired and getting sick more frequently. She just started using meditation to get to sleep, but wasn’t finding it helpful and wasn’t sticking to it on a regular basis because of that. Together, Jackie and I identified some of the negative beliefs that were holding her back, turned them around, and found ways to stay accountable to both the thought process and schedule she set for herself.

I know what to do, but does it really work? I mean, actually work.

Our brains are set to help us survive. Not only that, but are brains are muscle. You’ve heard of muscle memory, right? All of your daily experiences the brain takes in. But it doesn’t always know what is “real” and what is “perceived.” The reason we jump to a scary movie is the brain doesn’t realize immediately that YOU are not going through that experience. This immediate reaction is caused by the Amygdala. The same thing happens when we hear client stories every day. The Amygdala doesn’t realize that it is THEIR story, not YOUR story. So, the brain tries to make sense of it. It also stores that “memory” so you can stay safe from something like that in the future. Day after day, we hear very difficult stories and the brain, doing what it is supposed to, attempts to make sense of and store those stories in a way that will keep you safe. The brain, as a muscle, is being used the same way day after day, strengthening it. Strengthening the need to keep you safe from danger.

Thinking of it this way, it only makes sense that you aren’t necessarily 100% convinced that the techniques you are teaching work. You’ve tried them and they didn’t work for you. But did you try them long enough? Take a look back at solution to the first point for that.

The solution:

These techniques absolutely work. Look at the research that is out there on neuroplasticity (the brain’s ability to bounce back). Read about the effects of mindfulness, meditation, and relaxation in Eastern Cultures. There’s a reason these techniques have been around so long. Review the books you got in college. Look back at your notes from some of your earlier clients when you still taught this with passion. Then take a look at your own thought patterns. What were you saying to yourself about these techniques when you started in this field? What are you saying now? What beliefs have changed for you? How has this impacted your own use of the techniques?

Together with my clients, I help them find the belief in the techniques and in themselves that they can get restful sleep; that it is possible through use of mindfulness, meditation, and relaxation, to fall into a deep sleep and wake refreshed the next day.

After you start identifying some of your negative beliefs as well as the challenging thought to those negative beliefs, you will have a renewed sense of hope moving forward. Thoughts are powerful. I love the quote by Susan Taylor: “Thoughts have power. Thoughts are energy. You can make your world or break your world by your own thinking.” Change your thoughts, you can change your world. Believe in what you teach.

Which technique would you recommend first?

One of the problems is there are so many techniques that it can feel overwhelming. They all work, but does one work better than another? Does one work better for a certain issue related to sleep than another? The amount of information out there can seem very overwhelming, even to someone who does this every day.

It makes sense that you aren’t sure where to start and are feeling overwhelmed and maybe frustrated or hopeless. When you get to the point of exhaustion, being able to make decisions becomes harder. And because there are so many options to try, which one should you do to get the best results seems like a huge decision. You want to sleep now.

The solution:

Instead of beating your head against a wall trying to decide what to do, start by creating a night-time/bedtime routine to ease you into the evening. If you need to let out stress, no less than a few hours before bedtime, do some exercise (this could be stretching only). Breathe deeply as you are doing this. Focus on the exercise and breath. Focus on what it feels like to exercise. Only do what you are capable of doing though; do not hurt yourself. Do you just want to relax? How about having some chamomile tea? Have a glass of that, sipping it slowly while you read or listen to relaxing music. Don’t worry about whatever is going through your head. Just focus on the tea and music (or book). Let the thoughts go and be mindful about the tea. What temperature is it? What does it taste like? How strong is it? What does it smell like? What does it feel like in your mouth? As it goes down your throat? Once you get into bed, do you need complete silence? Maybe you listen to a half hour yoga nidra before turning all electronics off. Some people like to watch something light-hearted as it will act like a bedtime story, allowing them to focus on that and not their thoughts. One important thing, don’t focus on you not sleeping. The more you focus on not sleeping, the harder it will be to fall asleep.

There are several great youtube videos that could help with relaxation and sleep. There are also great apps for the phone. Personally, I really like insight timer. It has many meditations – guided and music only. There are lengths from five minutes to over and hour. There are options for spiritual and non-spiritual.

When you schedule a session with Meg Berry, LCSW, we will together help you create the routine that works best for you. We will iron out how to make it work for you and identify and getting rid of any barriers to setting it up and using it.
Adding a night-time/bedtime routine to your life will make it possible for you to get the sleep you need each night, thus allowing you to wake feeling refreshed and ready for the day. It will help you get your spark back and be the counselor and person I know you are.

So what do I do now?

Although retraining your brain’s muscle in order to allow you restful sleep can take time, the result can be both empowering and uplifting. You absolutely can wake up refreshed and excited to help people again the way you did when you came into the field. With your background, and a little nudge from Meg Berry, LCSW, you will have yourself back in as little time as possible.

Schedule a session with me today.