Now that we are in 2017, have you set yourself a new goal? A “resolution” for the year? Have you done this in many prior years and never stuck with it? There are several problems with new year’s resolutions or goals. Once you reach a goal, you’re done. Often the goals we set are too hard to reach. Maintaining motivation is not an easy task. Goals generally don’t change your life style, which means people will often go back to old behaviors after reaching a goal.
[Read more…]

As we are in full swing of the Holiday season, I thought this would be a good time to discuss emotions related to this time of year. Many people find this time of year very difficult. Whether or not someone is dealing with a mental illness, Holidays can bring up a lot for people. It is important to remember that although the “expectation” is to be happy, for many people, they cannot bring themselves to feel joy. I am especially talking to those who “put on a face” this time of year because others expect them to be happy. You don’t have to feel joy. You don’t have to be excited or happy. It is ok to feel loss, pain, sadness, anger, and whatever other emotion you may be dealing with.

The important thing is to know you are not alone, and to not get swallowed up in those emotions. It is vital to take care of yourself. It is imperative that you do not lose focus of the work you have been doing all year to work on yourself. Give yourself time to grieve, or feel the emotions you have, but also give yourself the pampering you deserve and need. Find support; find people who understand what you are going through and don’t expect you to be or feel something you are not.

You know how good it feels to give to others? Maybe one way you take care of yourself is by helping others. Just like you, others are suffering. What can you offer them? Can you give a gift to the Salvation Army or another donation site for kids in need? Can you give some canned or non-perishable goods to the Fire or Police departments for those without food? Can you volunteer some of your time somewhere? Giving to others often makes people feel very good about themselves and can get you out of your distress. Even if you get out of your suffering for only a few minutes, it can feel like a great relief.

Take time for yourself. Listen to yourself and your body. Rest when you need to. Distract when you need to. Feel when you need to. Whatever you do, don’t lose the gains you have achieved all year just because this time of year can be difficult. It does not have to pull you down. It does not have to undo everything you’ve done this year. Pay attention to your attitude and change your attitude when you find yourself talking negatively – no matter what you are being negative about.

Keep up the hard work! Get the support and appreciation you need. If you aren’t sure what to do to get out of your suffering, contact your therapist, or other trusted person. You can always call me as well! 860-501-9767 or 941-462-4807.

Our society generally wants a quick fix to our problems. Medication does a great job with that. The problem is medication is sometimes just a bandaid. Please don’t get me wrong; I believe in medication and know just how helpful medication is in so many ways. However, there are many times other techniques and options, when used regularly, do the same (and more) than medication.

What techniques and options can you do to get rid of the symptoms of anxiety, depression, and panic though? First of all, doing anything that increases the happy feelings in your brain is helpful (exercise and laughing for example). These techniques are proven through scientific imaging to increase positive feelings in the brain thus causing the depression and anxiety to decrease. Do you remember the last time you laughed so very hard you were crying? That you could barely breathe? When you tried explaining what was so funny, you just couldn’t speak because you were laughing so hard? If you don’t remember laughing like this, think about seeing someone else that was laughing this way whether on television or in person. What was that feeling like? (Or imagine what that feeling was like). You can’t possibly be depressed or anxious and laughing that hard at the same instant. The brain doesn’t work that way. If you can get yourself laughing every day, it will help get you feeling better. What about the last time you exercised hard? You may have said to yourself at the beginning “I don’t feel like doing this.” But you do it anyway, and you say “This is hard, but I will keep going.” As you get into it and stop the negative thoughts of wanting to be on the couch instead, you end your workout. Do you remember the feeling you had at the end of the workout? You probably felt pretty good; pretty accomplished. You have changed your brain by exercising like that.

What about alternative options? There are so many very effective techniques. I do not specialize in any of these, but I do know they are very helpful and several are proven techniques to feel happier and calmer. These techniques include: Reiki, Qi-Gong, Massage, Acupuncture, Acupressure, essential oils, vitamins and herbs, ayurveda, biofield therapy, among many others.

These techniques are helpful, and it is great to try any or all of these to increase feelings of calmness and overall health and happiness. I recommend talking with people you love and PLEASE talk with your doctors to determine whether trying any or all of these may help you on your path to healing. Nothing works over night and it takes effort to feel positive. When you do something one time, it has great effects, but in order to change the brain, it takes you doing the techniques over and over until it becomes a new normal in your brain.

If you aren’t sure where to find anyone who can help you with any of these techniques, feel free to call me or email me. I will provide you with where to go to start this process. Good luck and let me know what your experiences are!

Self care is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. It honestly doesn’t matter whether you have trauma memories, other mental health concerns, physical concerns, or none of the above. Without self-care, we will become a person we do not want to be and generally are not. I am sitting here on vacation and the first thing I said to myself is “I’m on vacation, I’m not going to blog this week.” However, as I thought about it more, I decided to do so because it is a reminder to myself just how important vacation and self-care is. By writing about self-care, I am reminding myself what self-care is and why we use it. It actually reinforces self-care by writing about it. So, I decided I will take a few minutes this morning to write about self-care.

What is self-care first of all? Self-care is anything you do that rejuvenates and replenishes you. Everyone has a different definition of what rejuvenates and replenishes them, but generally it is anything that gets you away from the day-to-day grind and stress. It does not have to be long, like a vacation, to be self-care. Self-care can be: massage, acupressure/acupuncture, reiki, walking/jogging/exercise, meditation, going out with friends/family, laughing, taking a day trip somewhere, using your senses (putting on lotion, looking at a beach scene, listening to relaxing music, eating your favorite food), spending time with your significant other just the two of you – away from the kids, using breathing techniques, and much more. Please comment on any self-care techniques I missed that you use. The more ideas out there, the better. Sometimes it is hard to think of ideas for self-care in the middle of stress!

Work can be very stressful (work can be any job you have that you get paid for or it can be other things such as parenting, or caregiving for a loved one). This stress causes many physical problems from high blood pressure to heart problems, to digestive problems, to headaches, to repetitive injury problems (carpel tunnel), and more. If we don’t take the time to separate from the stresses causing these physical problems, they can intensify and impact different areas of our lives. Just decreasing stress for 30 minutes per day in the middle of that stress can have beneficial health benefits. However, this generally isn’t enough. It is important to make time for self-care regularly. Go for that massage monthly, go on that vacation you “don’t have time for.” Treat yourself. Make yourself a priority and you will stay the person you are and want to be.

What are some of your barriers to self-care? Sometimes people believe they need to do it all – nobody can do the job as well as I can. If I’m not here, things will get missed or done wrong. Sometimes people don’t have the needed support (child or elder care), sometimes people believe self-care is selfish, sometimes people think they have to have money and don’t have it. Whatever your barriers to self-care, talk about it here or with someone who you trust. It is important to work through those barriers so you stay healthy. You cannot do what you currently do if you are not healthy!

As I said above, I am blogging while on vacation. To me, this blog is a reminder of how important self-care is. However, I have not checked my work email, I have not done anything else that is work-related. This is a time for me; to rejuvenate and replenish so when I return to work, I will be ready and have the energy to do what I love doing.

In America, we are in a work-aholic culture right now. This mind frame is not a good one. Good work ethics is important, but working yourself into health problems is not. I hope you are able to discuss what some of your barriers to self-care are, you are able to work on these barriers to decrease them, and are able to use self-care regularly to stay happy and healthy!

Please share any comments you have!