Each month of the year is some named month. It just happens that June is PTSD awareness month. The purpose of PTSD Awareness Month is to encourage everyone to raise public awareness of PTSD and effective treatments. We can all help those affected by PTSD. As we are in June, and many of you are either dealing with PTSD yourself or know a loved one dealing with symptoms of PTSD, it seems apropos that we talk about how to educate the community about PTSD.

Educating the community about PTSD doesn’t necessarily mean you have to share your experience with PTSD. You can talk to the community about your experiences. You can attend a NAMI meeting, an AA meeting, or another community support group to talk about your experiences. You can lead a community Q&A about PTSD and share your story, ask others to share their stories and open it up to questions from the community. You can join forces with other people dealing with PTSD or other loved ones of people dealing with PTSD and share experiences with first responders who may be called while you or your loved one is in a flashback and how to notice a flashback and how to help someone in that situation.

About 70% of adults in America have experienced a traumatic event sometime in their life. Many of those people will heal from the traumatic event and the symptoms will not impact day to day functioning. However, in any given year, approximately 8 million adults in America suffer from PTSD symptoms. If you don’t have any or don’t want to share your experiences, there are many other ways to bring awareness to PTSD. Whether or not you or a loved one is dealing with PTSD symptoms, bringing awareness of PTSD is so important and easy. What are some other ways to bring awareness of PTSD to the community?

1. Head over to the VA’s website for information, materials to share, etc: National Center for PTSD
The VA even has a power point presentation you can use to teach others about PTSD.
2. Put fliers, brochures, etc out (hint: the VA website has printable ones) in your office or place of employment
3. Bring these fliers, brochures, wallet cards to the library, community center, senior center, police stations, fire departments, schools, your kids after school activities, your gym, anywhere you can think of, and ask if you can leave some there
4. Promote PTSD awareness on social media sites (facebook, twitter, linked-in, etc) – again, the VA has suggested social media posts for your use.
5. Watch and share youtube videos about PTSD and available treatments (see the VA for a link to youtube videos).

The VA has done all the research for you. All you need to do is head on over and grab the materials and use them all month, but especially June 27, which is PTSD awareness DAY. I challenge each and every one of my followers to bring awareness of PTSD and treatment to their community this month, and even stronger on June 27. Are you in this with me? If you have any questions or concerns about raising awareness, please call or email me (860-501-9767; 941-462-4807; meg@megberrylcsw.com). I will talk with you without judgment about PTSD and your concerns or questions.

This weekend I did something completely new…I gave a professional seminar. In therapy, people do something new every day to improve themselves. As therapists, we know how hard doing something new is, but we often haven’t done anything outside our comfort zones too recently. It dawned on me that doing something new is exciting, but scary at the same time and because this is something we talk about in therapy all the time, my new activity was a time to reflect on change and going outside my comfort zone.

I have considered giving professional seminars for a long time (over a year). I talked about doing it, wanting to do it, going to do it someday, etc. I finally put one together, but left it at that for many months. About two months ago I contacted a hotel asking them if I could hold my seminar there and the cost for the room. Oh my, now my seminar was scheduled! I have to do it! I then went into preparation mode – reviewing the presentation, adding to it, finalizing it, figuring out how to market it, figuring out how to get continuing education credit for it, figuring out all the equipment needed. It was a huge undertaking. Then, I slowed down on how much I was preparing for it. I didn’t review my presentation anymore, and only did a bit of work on it here and there. Two weeks before my seminar, I said “AHHHH! 2 weeks!!! I pulled out the presentation and really started working on it. This was definitely not enough time! In the end, it seems I did well on the seminar. Everybody seemed to have positive remarks and there weren’t too many negative remarks. Everybody said they would recommend the seminar to others. I am currently in the process of self-evaluation (reviewing the recording and thinking about what I can do better next time).

Putting on this seminar was a huge deal. It was not a small task and took a lot of courage. I can talk very quickly, especially when nervous or passionate about the topic. I had to put a great deal of effort into making sure my voice was slow and loud enough for everyone to hear. I also talk with my hands. Something else I need to keep under control. Additionally, I did not practice as much as I probably should have, so I had to look down at my notes, but not read from them…a third thing to keep track of. Finally, I’ve talked a great deal about the importance of staying calm…keeping your breathing calm and muscles loose to stay out of fight/flight when anxious. I had to keep track of my body. So, all in all, I had to speak this presentation while keeping track of several aspects of me (voice control, gesture control, eye contact, and staying relaxed). Imagine the effort I had to put into all of this!

Ok, maybe you don’t have to imagine too hard. Many of you struggle with anxiety and completely understand the difficulty in staying calm in situations that are outside your comfort zone. I wanted to share this story because I always practice what I teach and this is a recent example. I cannot possibly expect my clients to practice these skills if I do not myself. I need to know some of the difficulties in using the techniques, some of the barriers, some of the reasons it may not work and how to overcome them. Probably the most important reason to me is I need to be 100% sure that what I teach actually works.

My presentation was on preventing burn-out. In essence helping therapists maintain the passion they came to this field with by taking care of themselves to not be drawn down by client stories and the work environment every day. The skills we as therapists use to maintain passion and the ability to listen to clients and deal with the stressors of the work environment every day are the exact same skills I teach to my clients. Self-regulation and relaxation skills help us and are tools we should be using daily, just like you. Self-regulation skills (breathing techniques, muscle relaxation, etc) can be done in the moment and don’t take you out of your daily routine. During my presentation, I constantly went into myself to make sure my muscles weren’t tightening up and that my breathing was regular. Even doing this constantly, I did not lose track of where I was in my presentation. I was able to continue talking while checking in with myself. When we stay in a calm body, the brain is able to think clearly. As soon as we get worked up, our brains aren’t working at 100% capacity because we are in survival mode. I did not want to be in survival mode during this presentation.

When it comes to going out of your comfort zone and doing something new (going to therapy, working on the techniques taught in therapy, doing a presentation, anything at all) the key to getting through it successfully is keeping yourself out of fight/flight. That is, paying attention to your breathing and body way before you do the new thing, all the way through the new thing, and even after the new thing is complete. Often we can get into fight/flight before doing the new thing as we work ourselves up thinking of all the negative possibilities that may occur. Whenever those thoughts come into mind, stay focused on what you are doing right then. Keep focused and don’t let your mind wander. Just keep bringing it back. And as you do so, keep focused on your body making sure it is staying relaxed and your breathing is staying calm and regular.

Trust me when I say I know this is not an easy feat, but trust me also when I say that it is possible. Not only is it possible, it actually works! I have been practicing self-regulation for years, so it is easier for me to do the skills when needed. If you are just getting started with self-regulation, don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t work very easily or even seems like it doesn’t work at all at first. You have to retrain your brain and body that the world is not completely dangerous and that takes time. When I started using self-regulation, it took a lot of time and a lot of energy and effort to remember to use it. It also took me almost 8 months for it to become easy. We are a species that wants immediate gratification. We want to feel better now; not have to wait 8 months. If you keep in mind that one way or the other, you will be here in 8 months, how do you want to be then? If you start now, you’ll be feeling at least noticeably better by then; maybe not exactly where you want to be, but noticeably better.

Head on over to my “Need to relax? Start here” page for a series of short guided imageries. There is an abundance of information on the internet about breathing and muscle relaxation exercises. Start there. When you are ready, give me a call and I will work with you more specifically on how to get where you want to be. Going out of your comfort zone is scary and we can walk through it together. You do not have to do this process alone! I can be reached at meg@megberrylcsw.com, 860-501-9767; 941-462-4807.

Do you ever have those days when you just don’t want to do anything? You know there is so much to do and you know you should get up and do those things, but the energy and motivation to do so just seem to escape you? How about taking it from another angle – there is so much to do it feels so overwhelming and therefore you can’t find the energy or motivation needed to do what you need to. Those days are a bit different, but the end result is the same: either not much gets done or it takes a lot of effort to do those tasks. We all have those days. I’m having one today. Sometimes you have to pull energy from places you don’t even know you have just to get the needed tasks done.

I wish I could tell you some simple secret to easily obtaining the motivation or energy you need when it just isn’t there, but I haven’t figured it out either! There are several techniques that make doing undesirable tasks easier, though:
– Breaking it down into smaller, manageable tasks. Don’t try to clean the entire house; start with the laundry, or the dishes.

– Writing down everything you need to do and crossing things off as you do them is another great motivator. It feels good to cross things off your list.

– A third idea is do the hardest thing first. When you get the hardest thing out of the way, it makes the other tasks seem so easy and the motivation will come with the downhill slide of easier tasks.

– Wanting to feel something positive or avoiding feeling something negative is a big factor in whether you’ll do the task at hand.
o What feeling do you get when you complete something? Accomplishment? Relief? Calmness? Happiness? What feeling are you trying to avoid? Disappointment? Overwhelm? The thought that you’re not good enough; can’t do things right; etc?

– Attitude is another huge factor.
o “I can’t clean the house; it is impossible right now. I am so drained and look how much needs to get done!” That type of self-talk is very defeating and very likely to get you to not clean the house.
o What if you said instead “The house is a mess and it will take a long time to clean, but I’m going to start in the kitchen and see how my energy is after that.”

– Turn up the music. Loud music often helps people get out of their head and get some energy.

– Make a game out of it. Whereas stories like Mary Poppins and Pippi Longstocking make cleaning a fun game, those games are not ones that we can play! However, the concept is still a legitimate and good one. Not to mention fun!

– There is always the “just do it” approach. Once you start, momentum can help keep it going.

Today I used a couple of these approaches starting with making a list so I can break it down and cross things off. From there I used the just do it approach and have completed all of my tasks (except blogging which I am almost done with). I must say, I started this blog over 2 hours ago and walked away from it a few times. We all have those days that we just don’t want to do the tasks we know need completing. Can you add to this list? What other techniques do you use when lacking in energy or motivation. Leave me a comment to add to this list (or for anything else you want to say)! Take a look at my other blogs on my website as well. There are other blogs about motivation as well as other things that stand in the way (whether internal or external). www.yourflandctptsdtherapist.com. Looking forward to hearing from you!

This week I decided to do something new – coaching – to help me meet some goals. I am excited to start this new adventure, but also very scared because the cost is pretty high. I asked the coach “I’m excited but terrified. Will you promise to hold me up through my fear?” This is a recent example of a time I was terrified to do something, but decided the cost was worth it. Do you have any examples of this in your life?

What is your number one reason for doing something new despite fear or anxieties? Personally, I wanted to grow in this particular area and this coach seemed to be the one who could give me what I want, making the cost worth it. One reason people sometimes have is the person they talk to on the phone seems to be the person who can give them what they want. Another reason (and often a big one) is they feel like they have no choice but to change. When change is your only option, many people are willing to pay for it.

When you’re ready to make a change in life; when what you’re living with is no longer an option for you, finding that therapist to hold you through your fears and anxieties is vital. Having faith the therapist will deliver on their promise to you is such a big factor in staying in therapy until you are where you want to be in life.

I said this coach is expensive, right? Could I have found a different, less expensive one? Yes, I’m sure I could. So why did I choose her? I chose her because she spoke to me: She understood my needs and my goals. She gave me belief that she is the one for me despite her cost.

When you look for a therapist to help you regain and reclaim your life, think about what is honestly more important to you: cost or reclaiming your life? Just because someone takes your insurance and has openings doesn’t mean they are the right therapist for you. Ask yourself:
– Does the therapist really seem to understand you, your pain, and your goals?
– Do they speak to your pain and give you hope that you can reclaim your life?
– Do they specialize in what you need? Yes, this is important. Would you go to a general surgeon if you needed brain surgery or would you do some research and find who specializes in brain surgery in the area and is recommended? What if a general surgeon took your insurance, but a brain surgeon does not…would you pay the extra cost to go to the specialist?

Therapy really is no different. This is your life you want back. It is important to choose the therapist that makes the most sense to you instead of choosing out of a book. There are many generalist therapists out there who are very good at what they do, but when you’re ready to make this change and reclaim your life, the specialist is who you want to see. Go after that goal and reclaim your life! If you aren’t sure where to start, feel free to contact me: megberrylcsw@fastmail.com. I will help you identify a specialist in your area (granted I do not know areas outside of CT and FL as well as I know areas and therapists within CT and FL).