How many times have you given up on your goals? Or decided that it was “too hard” and couldn’t get yourself motivated enough to reach your goals?
Growth requires that we push ourselves and get out of our comfort zones. However, so many times, we give up on our goals because we give into the above statements.
Unfortunately, because of this, we often beat ourselves up and use a lot of “should” statements.
The downsides to beating ourselves up and should statements are pretty clear. We feel less motivated, we don’t feel good about ourselves, we revert to old behaviors or ways, and spin our wheels.
Should statements are awful. “I should have done…” It doesn’t help us as we cannot change the past. Instead of motivating us for next time, we are chastising ourselves. Do you remember when you were a kid and got criticized over something that you did wrong? Maybe you did something intentionally, maybe it was an accident, and maybe you didn’t do it at all, but got blamed anyway. It didn’t feel good.
So why do we start criticizing ourselves as we become adults? It didn’t feel good then, but we’re ok with it now?! Should statements are all about something we no longer have control over and do not help us move forward in goals or life. Honestly, they often don’t help us do differently in a similar future situation.
When was the last time you gave up on a goal? At first you may have felt excited to get started on the goal. You had all the best intentions and felt confident about it. Then it was time to work on the goal. Maybe you even did it for awhile, but then it started feeling more like a chore. Or maybe you were tired and had to push yourself, but didn’t feel like it.
You may have pushed it for awhile, but you found yourself not liking it and unhelpful thoughts kept coming up. “Don’t do it now” “it’s not helping” “you’re not good enough” “You don’t feel like it” “it’s too cold” “You’re too tired.”
Unfortunately, none of these statements will help any of us stay focused on our goals. Doing something new is not easy and we tend to like the easy path.
Eventually you found yourself back to old behaviors and not working towards that goal anymore. You were out of your comfort zone and didn’t like it. This is so normal!
It’s true that these are all normal feelings and thoughts. It’s true that you are not alone. The great thing about the human spirit is we are resilient. We try again….and again… Sometimes we do the exact same thing expecting a different result, but you know what? We still tried again! When we learn just six tips to stick with when going out of our comfort zone, we are more likely to reach our goals without repeated attempts bringing us down and making is feel more hopeless about reaching our goals. When we utilize these six tips while going out of our comfort zone, it is entirely possible to reach our goals quicker and with less stress than previously attempted.
Keep reading for 6 tips so you can push through the discomfort and reach your goals faster
HAVE YOU GIVEN UP ON YOUR GOALS? TRIED AND TRIED AGAIN, BUT IT IS TOO DIFFICULT? DOES IT FEEL LIKE TOO MUCH EFFORT?
The biggest downfall to taking the easy path is not growing. When living things don’t grow, they start dying. When we stop growing, we start dying as well. But we are also wired to do things the easy way, thus preventing growth.
At the very least, you find yourself frustrated. A bit more and you find yourself hopeless. Nothing seems to be working. Nothing seems to keep you on track. It seems to be a never-ending cycle. Even when you push yourself it doesn’t feel quite as good as you were hoping.
Living in this cycle is tiresome. We just want to meet our goals and want to meet them with the least amount of effort. Honestly, there is so much going on day to day that when we have to think about pushing ourselves to do something we may not really want to do right now, it seems easier to just give in and say “never mind.”
FEELING STRONG, COMPETENT, DETERMINED, WALKING TALL, FEELING FABULOUS
Although you struggle, like the rest of us, with motivation and pushing ourselves outside the comfort zone, you have the potential to hack the cycle and get your goals met. You have the ability to be where you want to be in life and who you want to be in life.
When we choose to incorporate six tips into our goals, there is a possibility for real results. There is the possibility that you will do things and reach goals you never thought possible. There is the possibility that you will once and for all break the cycle of giving up on goals.
You have the opportunity to incorporate six hacks and see the reality of your goals coming to fruition. Six tips to stay on top of your goals when you are out of your comfort zone and not sure you really want to continue on this journey can mean the difference between meeting your goals and not.
6 TIPS TO ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS WHEN YOU ARE OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE
Yes it’s true you may be feeling hopeless; saying to yourself that you have done everything and nothing works, but people meet their goals every day. People go outside their comfort zone and take risks resulting in huge life improvements (and also small ones).
The key to achieving this feeling of accomplishment is to take it one step at a time. Tomorrow will come. One year from today will come. Take it one day at a time using these tips and your goals are much more likely to be realized.
Making these changes is not as hard as you think because some of it you already know and some of it may seem more obvious. When you already know something, it is easier to do the task. When you use these six hacks…that you already know…you can achieve something great.
Take a look at these six tips to see how you can get out of your comfort zone and meet your goals.
1. Get support from others
When you are setting goals for yourself, one of the best ways to maintain motivation to continue is to get support from others. Reach out to others. When it is hard and you don’t feel like it anymore (or just don’t feel like it today), reaching out and getting support could be the difference between continuing to reach for your goals and giving up on your goals.
This is so successful that support groups are founded on it. You see it in AA and other recovery groups, as well as groups such as weight watchers. Support when going out of your comfort zone is a huge factor in success for many people.
2. Accountability
Accountability goes along with support and reaching out. When you have someone who you can count on specifically who can hold you accountable to your goals, that is another huge factor in success.
Support groups such as AA use this aspect as well. Sponsors are the AA member’s accountability partner. Whereas these accountability partners are one sided, they still do the job. Similarly, when you have a gym buddy, you are more likely to go to the gym.
3. Keep your goal and your why in front of you at all times
Why do you want to meet this goal? Ask yourself why several times. For example, I want to get my mind out of frequent panic. Why? Because I want to make good decisions at work. Why? Because I want to protect and serve the community and my family Why? Because it truly is my calling. Keep asking yourself why until you feel the “oh yes, that is it!”
When you have your goal and your why in front of you, you are more likely to stick with it. When you look at your goal, but struggle with the why, many people lose focus of their goal. The why is incredibly important and highly helpful in maintaining motivation towards your goal.
4. Small progress is still progress
We often give up on our goals because we don’t see progress being made. We want to feel better now. We want to see results now. Don’t lose sight of progress you’ve made in any form.
Sometimes progress is found in ways we don’t expect. If you are not seeing results, identify whether there’s another way to measure your progress. If so, check on your progress that way.
When people take two steps forward and one step back, they are still one step ahead of where they were when they started. This is also important to keep in mind. Small progress is still progress. You will get there.
5. Motivation follows action
I’ve talked about this before. Motivation is frequently not there when you need it. Motivation follows action. You may not feel motivated to step outside your comfort zone. However, motivation follows action. Just do it. You’ll feel good about yourself once you do it.
It is important not to get bogged down with motivation. When we are stressed out, our body is putting so much energy into “survival” that we have little energy left for motivation. It will not be easy to step out of your comfort zone and waiting to become motivated may take a long time.
6. Don’t go so far out of your comfort zone that you give up
This is a very important tip. I often talk to my clients about this with the metaphor of exercise. If you can do 50 situps easily, but then decide to do 100, you may have just stepped so far out of your comfort zone that you give up. You feel very sore and are very unhappy with that decision and decide not to do it again.
It is important to take reasonable steps when going outside your comfort zone. Not going out at all will prevent growth and going too far out will cause many to want to give up. There is a balance there somewhere of how far out of your comfort is optimal. Everyone is different so I cannot say how far to push yourself.
When you schedule a session with Meg Young, LCSW, we will go over what your why is with your goal, help you find the real reason you want to meet this goal, then help you identify your herd (your support network), any accountability partners, which often includes me, and help you identify how far to go out of your comfort zone.
Achieving your goals when going out of your comfort zone is a thrilling feeling. You absolutely can reach your goals and it does not have to be that difficult. It is always a journey, but sometimes the journey is not as hard as it seems at first.
Meg Young, LCSW, focuses on education and encouragement to help you meet your goals in the fastest way possible. We work together to get you out of your comfort zone and into a new and better emotional and behavioral place.
Take a look at my youtube page which will provide you with additional tips, tricks and advice as well as other blogs to get an idea of who I am. Then give me a call to schedule your appointment. I specialize in moving first responders, medical professionals and court professionals from internal chaos to internal control both online and in person. I can be reached at 941-462-4807 or feel free to email as well at meg@megyounglcsw.com. Choose strength! I look forward to talking with you.
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